tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post8569296560025391623..comments2023-12-30T00:30:21.906-08:00Comments on The Hippie Housewife: Ten alternatives to time-outsHippie Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-88432453211551880272013-07-26T08:23:29.463-07:002013-07-26T08:23:29.463-07:00I agree 100%... "The purpose of our parenting...I agree 100%... "The purpose of our parenting should be problem-solving and teaching, not behaviour-training through consequences or punishments."<br /><br />Thanks for this post. Lately, I have been finding myself extremely frustrated with my 2.5 year old daughter. We are constantly complimented on how well-behaved/polite she is, but there are times when she can be a little terror. When she doesn't get her way, she swats at me (or my husbands) and screams! I always catch her arm and firmly state, "Stop. That hurts me. You may not hit." Then I continue to validate her feelings ("I understand you're upset... & so on...) & give her an alternative to express her feelings (using her words, etc...)<br />But lately I'm at a loss for what to do when we're in public. For instance, the other day she threw a HUGE fit because she didn't want to sit in her stroller at the mall. I really needed her to sit in it for safety because I have never been to this mall before. It was just as much a physical struggle as it was an emotional one. I tried to explain WHY she needed to sit in the stroller, but it wasn't working. Should I just continue along with my "discipline routine" and wait until she's a little older? Or do I remove her from the situation and leave the mall? Any bit of advice would be greatly appreciated!<br />*Hopefully you will see this as I just realized this post was from 2011, but I just found it on Pinterest this morning, LOL!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01849459641970982179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-39576610987541233882013-07-26T06:05:00.210-07:002013-07-26T06:05:00.210-07:00thank you for posting
I don't believe in span...thank you for posting<br /><br />I don't believe in spanking. We give timeouts... :-/ of course that doesn't solve the problem 50% of the time<br /><br />can u come to my house and coach me :-) i strive to be more calm but i just seem to revert back to angry mommy :-/ that doesn't make anyone happyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-51465080517240883232013-07-26T05:24:57.435-07:002013-07-26T05:24:57.435-07:00Agree with Hippie Housewife's response but als...Agree with Hippie Housewife's response but also to add - the response to incorrect behaviour should be a natural consequence to that behaviour (such as cleaning up something you've spilt, or giving empathy and a hug to someone you've hit in anger. It shouldnt need to be sitting alone in a corner, what does that teach them? Georgiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12833158177645296135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-20937296411233671752012-06-28T13:09:50.871-07:002012-06-28T13:09:50.871-07:00I can see how it must sound like helicopter parent...I can see how it must sound like helicopter parenting at first glance. Helicopter parenting, however, refuses to acknowledge the child's strengths and weaknesses, nor does it affirm healthy, age-appropriate independence. Attachment parenting/gentle discipline (AP/GD), on the other hand, works from a foundation of strong attachment in order to allow such healthy independence to naturally unfold in the child. It also encourages the child's strengths and works to build areas of weakness. Helicopter parenting and AP/GD are, at their core, incompatible.<br /><br />These alternatives to time-outs work to build (rather than suppress) the child's emotional awareness and expression, to strengthen the parent/child bond, and to increase the child's sense of security (which leads to healthy independence). The parent acts as a supportive guide through the process, neither rescuing nor punishing the child but instead <a href="http://hippiehousewife.blogspot.ca/2012/06/gentle-discipline-basics-teaching.html" rel="nofollow">teaching the child</a> more appropriate ways of behaving and expressing themselves going forward.<br /><br />I hope that clarifies the difference.Hippie Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-75241919543787658132012-06-28T06:54:02.003-07:002012-06-28T06:54:02.003-07:00I'm glad you and others find this helpful. How...I'm glad you and others find this helpful. However, it seems like "helicopter parenting". Parents can give children boundaries, and if they are crossed, time outs can be a period for children to realize there are consequences for crossing them. I think parents can us time outs without making their children feel isolated or shunned if they let them know it is in response to their incorrect behavior.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-31167381942936361812012-05-05T13:50:47.081-07:002012-05-05T13:50:47.081-07:00Noticing when most problems occur benefits. The mo...Noticing when most problems occur benefits. The most problems in the house are when I am cleaning in a room the children are not playing in or when I am cooking. I explain to them that time spent alone in creative expression is something everyone needs for good health. I teach the children that I don't ground them from playig with friends for the same reason. Everyone needs time with their friends sometimes, but they need to be alone sometimes, too. So I bring out supplies and have them each sit someplace apart and let them paint, draw, color, make up stories etc. for up to an hour. Making sure their time alone, with friends, and family time is balanced helps.sunrisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15631956051054248761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-66814543392114842292011-10-04T21:32:55.985-07:002011-10-04T21:32:55.985-07:00What a great benefit that is, Zephan! Thank you fo...What a great benefit that is, Zephan! Thank you for sharing your experiences.Hippie Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-21045941833503859812011-10-03T17:50:48.773-07:002011-10-03T17:50:48.773-07:00Thanks for this post!! It's good to hear that ...Thanks for this post!! It's good to hear that I am not the only parent who uses a different method! And good to be reminded of some other strategies.<br />We use""calm-down" time. My 5.5 yr old is good now with knowing when he is ready to join the rest of the family. I tell him to go to the room, read books, play, think, and when he is ready, to come out. He usually takes 5 minutes, and then comes out saying "Mum, I'm ready to make things right". Although sometimes (like this morning!) he gets so involved in what he is doing that he stays in there for much longer!<br />The benefit is that both boys understand that sometimes mum also needs "calm-down time". And I get the opportunity to lock myself in the room for 10 minutes when I am feeling very overwhelmed and ready to burst. Works wonders for me too!Zephannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-35517097297383077482011-10-03T14:50:08.358-07:002011-10-03T14:50:08.358-07:00I love that we're on the same page, Karyn. Ah...I love that we're on the same page, Karyn. Ah, sharing feelings! Great one. Wish fulfillment is really helpful around here, too: "You want some ice cream but we don't have any. I wish the stores were still open so I could get some for us! What flavour would you want? Oh, I love that one too. Mint chocolate chip is my favourite though. Should we go read a book?"Hippie Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-32375327766627351302011-10-03T09:17:26.055-07:002011-10-03T09:17:26.055-07:00As I was reading I would think of something else g...As I was reading I would think of something else good to go along with what you were saying -- and then another paragraph down you would say it :). Apparently you and I are on the same page.<br /><br />I LOVE the idea of the mind jar!<br /><br />Mock threats ftw. Rich is better about it than I am, but a common threat in our house is, "If you don't stop X, I'm gonna stick your head in the toilet." If he does it again, Rich says, "Okay, I guess it's time to stick your head in the toilet!" and picks him up, upside down, to carry him to the bathroom. By the time they get there Raiden is saying, "NOOO!! I'll stop antagonizing you!" and we move on. I wish I could remember that more often!<br /><br />Validating. Yes. That is a big one for me. Sharing their feelings, too, seems to help, at least with me. "I know you're sad we don't get to X right now; I'm sad, too, because that sounds like a lot of fun. Right now it's time to Y, but I bet if you're really nice while we Y, we can come back and X later." (We've been working a lot, lately, on "we can after Z, yes" [our alternative to "not right now"] not having to be the end of the world.)Karynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13481484074210475160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-38588881884694886412011-10-03T08:30:32.574-07:002011-10-03T08:30:32.574-07:00Dee, I'm glad you found it helpful!
Dionna, t...Dee, I'm glad you found it helpful!<br /><br />Dionna, thanks so much for sharing that list. Great ideas there!Hippie Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-81397221641793703512011-10-03T04:53:02.676-07:002011-10-03T04:53:02.676-07:00Great list! For anyone looking for a few more idea...Great list! For anyone looking for a few more ideas, I wrote a list that might also be helpful: http://codenamemama.com/2011/03/08/mar-carnatpar/<br /><br />It always feels better to turn potentially negative situations into moments of connection!Dionna @ Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5051258436941012775.post-82421968170664861462011-10-03T02:02:59.680-07:002011-10-03T02:02:59.680-07:00Hi,
I've been reading youy blog for a couple ...Hi,<br /><br />I've been reading youy blog for a couple of weeks now and must say it's a very interesting blog. :) <br />I want to thank you for all these alternatives for a time out. This is exactly what I try to do with my two girls; 3 and 1 years of age. Sometimes it's hard to find new creative ways to deal with situations. <br /><br />By the way; sorry for my poor English, it's not my first language.d eehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18168425856328087899noreply@blogger.com