There are moments when I'm left breathless with gratitude, but the moment passes and I forget too easily that it happened. I need to write it down. I tell myself that often and yet I never seem to get around to opening that notebook of mine, even with fresh paper and new pens and more than enough time in my day for this one small-yet-big thing.
What better time than Lent to return to this practice of recording gratitude?
- 40 Days of Gratitude
_____________________
First there was the sound of a can of compressed air being used in the bathroom, followed soon after by the sound of my hair dryer. I walked down the hallway and turned the corner and there was the husband, blowing hot air at nothing at all.
I asked him, bewildered, what he was doing.
"Cleaning out the vents in your hair dryer. Much more lint in there and it was going to turn into a heat gun."
My first thought upon hearing this was, write it down. Write it down, add it to the list, don't forget this moment because this is a gift right here. To have him notice the little things that I would never consider, to be cared about in practical yet no less meaningful ways - it's a gift.
He put the hair dryer down and we all left for a Good Friday service at (yet another) new church. It's been a year now and we're as homeless as ever. We try and we give up and we try again and I'm tired of trying, I just want a pew to sink into every week, to worship and fellowship and is this so much to ask? This one small grace?
I always panic when we pull up to a new possibility. I look at my husband and he reads it in my eyes, and he's not feeling so sure either. We'd drive away if it was just us, I know we would, just two big introverted chickens we are. But the kids are waiting expectantly in the backseat, so we squeeze each other's hand and step over one more unfamiliar threshold.
This one, though...it felt good. Maybe. It's often hard to tell after that first visit (other times, though, one visit is more than enough to tell us what we need to know). We're not holding our breath but we'll be back there tomorrow for Easter Sunday and that's all we can do, go back until we know one way or another. But this Good Friday service? It, too, gets written down. Thank you.
This is what the past 40 days have done to me. Write it down, I think it time and time again as I go about my day. Notice. Remember. Write it down. Cultivate this spirit of gratitude. Find the grace in it all, the good stuff and the hard stuff, and write it down.
384. Preparing. Anticipation.
387. Silent doors, and a husband who makes them so.
388. Baby girl's word explosion.
390. My sewing machine.
396. Clarity. Learning from past assumptions.
398. Hot cross buns. Rosemary olive oil bread.
399. Fellowship.
And you? A moment of gratitude, something from your list, a link to your own gratitude journey? I love reading every bit that you share with us.
Things I'm grateful for: I'm grateful for you, your story, your talent at writing and your blog posts that pop up in my email. I save them to read while I'm feeding the (not-so-much-anymore-really) baby to sleep at night, and savour them while it's all quiet, or reading them to myself while simultaneously singing "once in royal David's city" to the three year old (his favourite lullaby). So I'm also thankful for multitasking! I'm grateful that the miscarriage I had, whilst disappointing, was not devastating, and has taught me to stop planning and controlling - nothing I do now can make the next baby come with the same age gap again! Thank you for your honesty, which I always appreciate, admire and draw encouragement from.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your family, this Easter time and always xxx