Too cute not to share

My Little Kangaroo

Babywearing has saved my sanity. I can't imagine what I'd do without it. There are few days where my son doesn't end up in a carrier at some point - on my back while I do some housework, cuddled in a wrap while he's teething or sick, bundled up nice and cozy while we go outside. It saves struggling with a stroller through the snow or onto a crowded bus or around a busy store. It saves lugging around an awkward heavy infant seat. It allows me to have two free hands while still keeping baby close when he needs it. It makes naps easier for those babies (like mine) who don't sleep well alone. It just makes life so much more peaceful and simple.

Worn babies also benefit from this, mentally, emotionally and physically. Mentally, they spend more time in a quiet alert state and receive more stimulation. Emotionally, they quickly develop a sense of security and trust, becoming more attached which, in turn, allows them to become independent earlier. Physically, newborns adapt better by being so close to their caregiver's heartbeat, breathing, and voice, and older babies develop a better sense of balance.

Ring sling

First up, our ring sling. This is great for quick trips - fast and easy to get on and off. Because it's a one-shoulder carrier, however, it's not great for long trips, especially for older/bigger babies.

This particular ring sling is a Didymos wrap, Lena print, turned into a ring sling by Sleeping Baby Productions.



Sleeping after a walk this summer


Front, side, front



Mei tai

Next, our mei tai. This two-shouldered carrier is great for people who find wraps too challenging. They can be worn easily on the front or back, and are generally faster to put on than a wrap. Definitely a husband-friendly carrier.

This particular mei tai is a Kozy brand, Windsor print.



Sound asleep



Wraps

Wraps are my favourite. They are so versatile. They can be worn on your front, back or hip in a nearly infinite variety of ways. We have four wraps - a soft stretchy one that's great for cold weather and for newborns (a red Moby), a short one that's good for taking places to wrap there (an Ellaroo LaRae), a thin one that's great for warm weather (an Ellaroo Christiane), and our new (to us) German woven wrap that's nice and supportive for my growing boy (a Paul Didymos). Four wraps is not a necessity - one would do easily. I'd pick a long woven wrap if I have to pick just one. There is a learning curve to wraps, but perseverance and practice is so worth it in the end. When I can scoop up a crying baby, flip him onto my back, wrap him up and get back to cooking supper in no time at all, life is good. Wraps are our most commonly used carrier. I personally prefer them to mei tais because I find them to be cozier and softer.

My son, several months ago, in our Ellaroo brand, Christiane print.


More recently, same wrap.


Our new German woven wrap, Didymos brand, Paul print.


And back home, rosy-cheeked, after a walk in the cold.


Hanging out on mommy's back




A great place to learn more about babywearing is thebabywearer.com, particularly their forums.

The Definition of "Risk"

I'm trying to be patient. I really am. But when people can't even understand a concept so basic as "risk"...well, it becomes rather difficult.

Risk is the possibility of an event occuring. When I say there is a risk of such-and-such, I don't mean that it will happen. I mean there is a possibility that it will happen.

So the fact that it didn't happen to your sister/mother/friend/etc is, I'm sorry to say, really quite irrelevant.

There are risks associated with epidurals. There are risks associated with being induced. There are risks associated with medical tests. With formula. With babies watching television. With vaccines. With leaving a baby to cry alone. There simply are.

I just want people to think. To have all the knowledge they need to make an informed decision. Not to necessarily make the same decision I would - just to make an informed one. Maybe for you the benefit is worth the risk, while for me it isn't. That's fine - just be willing to recognize that the risk exists in the first place! I can respect that sort of decision. What I can't respect is the poor logic of "such-and-such didn't happen to so-and-so, therefore there is no risk", or, perhaps even worse, "it won't happen to me."

Those two statements are so hurtful in the way they completely disqualify and invalidate the experiences of all those to whom it did happen. So it didn't happen to your sister - that doesn't mean it won't happen to you. That doesn't mean it hasn't already happened to countless numbers of other women. Show some respect for those women - recognize that the risk exists. Just recognize that it exists.

Preparing for Christmas

Where did November go?? I can't believe it's already December. So much to do! My husband and son and I leave for the holidays in less than two weeks (one week with his family; one week with mine).

This will be our son's first Christmas. He'll be just over eight months old, that age where the wrapping and the boxes will be the most exciting presents he gets. We're trying - as in all other areas of our life - to keep things simple in terms of Christmas. I admit there is a part of me that wants to splurge on Christmas presents for the sweet little boy, but even that part of me drops its jaw in shock at long lists of (mostly large noisy plastic) toys that seem to be the norm.

I think that we've decided that each of our children will receive three gifts in recognition of the three gifts given by the magi. I've read about one form where Gold = fun gift or something of value/something the child really wants, Frankinsence = gift of spiritual significance, and Myrrh = item for body. I like the idea both because it keeps Christmas at a reasonable size and because it allows for deeper discussion of the magi and Jesus.

Because the in-laws requested a Christmas list for their first grandchild, we sent a letter to both families giving suggestions. We did ask that plastic toys and toys made in China be avoided if possible, along with movies as we do not allow our son to watch them (we don't even have a TV ourselves; if we want to watch a movie, we rent a DVD and watch it on the computer). Instead, we suggested board books (in English or French), clothes 12 months +, wood toys, cloth toys, wool diaper covers, homemade taggie blankets, or, if all else fails, RESP contributions.

From us he will get a mirror, a stackable toy, a shape sorter, and some stocking stuffers (the latter only because my parents have insisted that we put a stocking out for "Santa" to fill while we're at their place, even though we don't intend to have Santa be a part of Christmas in our house). The stocking stuffers will mainly consist of food, which I know will only cause more negative comments from them (in addition to the "look on a map and see how big China is!" that was their response to our Christmas list) because in their eyes, "baby food" comes in a jar from the grocery store. We haven't given our son any rice cereal or jarred baby food. He just joins in with us. He currently feeds himself Cheerios, avocado, carrots, cantaloupe, honey dew melon, sweet potatoes, dry whole grain toast, oatmeal, applesauce, and other random types of food that we've offered him over the past month or so. He eats as much or as little as he wants, and all in addition to breastmilk rather than in place of it.

My son and I went away to a women's retreat put on by our church this weekend (nursing mothers welcome - it was an opportunity I wasn't going to pass up!). He's such a happy and good natured little boy (I like to flatter myself and pretend it's all do to my phenomenal mothering skills) and he just loved spending the whole weekend in the centre of attention. One mother there, upon observing me trying to sneakily clasp my nursing bra back up, said how great it was that I was still breastfeeding my son. She said her youngest was five years old before they weaned. In a culture where I get asked more often when I'm going to wean, it was truly a blessing to hear "good for you for still breastfeeding!" instead.

Negligent?

I really wish magic 8 balls worked.

Or that all baby books and articles and studies said the same thing.

Or that "right answers" fell out of the sky.

Because then these no-win issues wouldn't exist.

It seems that no matter how much I read about vaccinations, I just don't get any further ahead, any closer to that one perfect "correct" answer.

On the one hand, I can continue to delay my son's vaccinations and to be selective about which ones he gets in the first place. I'm very fortunate to have a doctor who accepts this without question or objection. But how would I feel if my son ended up with a vaccine-preventable disease? And is it really fair to take advantage of everyone else's vaccinations?

On the other hand, I can have the vaccinations done. I can allow the doctor to inject them into my baby. And then I can hope and pray that he isn't adversely affected by them, and constantly wonder whether this or that is a result of the vaccines.

Either way, I'm gambling. Either way, I take a risk with my son's health, with his life. It feels like either way, I lose.

My perfect little baby boy is napping a few feet away from me, blissfully unaware that on Tuesday, when he turns six months old, we will go see the doctor and once again his mom will say no, not today, we're still delaying. No, not today will we inject him with substances that could have lasting negative effects on his health and development. No, not today will we increase his protection against this, that, and the other. What does that make us? Good? Bad? Thoughtful? Negligent?

Confused?

I know there probably is no right answer here. But for now, I'm doing what I think is best, after months of research. I'm continuing to delay. In the meantime, I'm breastfeeding, the bit of protection I can give him without worry. I'll keep delaying until I feel it's time to do otherwise - and maybe that day simply won't ever come.

Ode to Breasts

I have a much deeper appreciation for breasts now that I have a child.

(I also have much bigger breasts. Bonus!)

The subject arises after a brief conversation with an online friend who feels that breastfeeding is one of those weird hippie things to do, much the same as homeschooling or using apple cider vinegar as a facial toner. She has no intention of breastfeeding her babies.

As I was thinking about it later that day, I was struck with the utter uselessness of breasts if you refuse to use them to feed your babies!

That's what they're there for.

(I shared this sentiment with my husband, who looked at me with those big sad puppy dog eyes and said, "is that all they're for??" I conceded that yes, okay, they're also playthings for husbands. That perked him right back up.)

I just don't understand not wanting to use your breasts for their intended purpose. It's like refusing to use your eyes to see things or your nose to smell things. Can you imagine if we walked around with our noses plugged, only using them as sexual objects?? Foolishness, that's what it is.

Likewise, though slightly less so, the myriad of mothers who "wean to formula" when their child reaches that magical six months. As though something happens to your milk to make it utterly worthless and void of all nutrition the day your child turns six months old. Why substitute formula when the good stuff's right there? It's wonderful and admirable that you made it six months - keep going!

And then - of all places! - churches that discourage breastfeeding. A church should recognize the God-given purpose of breasts. I am so grateful to belong to a very baby-friendly church where I am free to breastfeed my baby in my pew in the middle of the sermon and often see other mothers doing the same thing. I keep my baby with me the entire time and have never had anyone "politely hint" that there's a nursery for babies.

Oh, but my distractible babe! Our mid-sermon nursing sessions go something like this (as far as I imagine it):

"Mommy...Mommy...Mommy! Mommy! Gimme mommy milk! Milk! Mom! Now! Mmm, mommy milk, mmm, mmm. Oh look, a fly! Mmm, mommy milk. Hey, did someone sniffle? Can't see anything, back to the boob juice. Woah, a sneeze! I wonder if I should cry? No, no, Mommy seems pretty certain that things are okay, crisis averted, back to the good stuff. Ooh, Daddy moved, gotta check that out...okay, nothing exciting, back to - hey! Mommy! Gimme back that breast! Don't put it away! I'll pay attention this time, honest! Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" *belch*

So, you see, it's not even that he's a nice inconspicuous public nurser. Not in the least.

I so love being able to breastfeed my son. I feel awful for those mothers who truly want to and try everything in their power to make it work but just can't. But that's a far cry different from those who simply won't.

When my son was only a few days old, it morbidly occurred to me that if I knew my son and I had only a few more minutes together (end of the world, certain death, impending separation, what have you), I would want to spend those few minutes breastfeeding him. It is (during his less distractible sessions) our quiet bonding time. He is happy, content, peaceful. He snuggles in, grabs my breast with both hands, sometimes pats one hand gently against my neck. I love his grin-around-the-breast when I smile down at him. It is our peaceful way of drifting off to sleep at night and before naps.

There is simply nothing else in our day that makes him so content and makes me feel so much like a Mother.

Look Ma, No Leaks!

Well, we've finally made the switch.

Our little boy is in cloth diapers.

I'm loving them! And, I'm sure, so is he. It just looks so comfortable to have that soft fabric up against his skin instead of our previous disposable diapers.

For the first four months of his life, I felt guilty every single time I changed his diaper. I felt guilty for all the garbage I was creating, I felt guilty for all the chemicals and crap (heh, no pun intended) I was putting right there next to my son's most sensitive parts, and I felt guilty for all the money we were throwing on when we could wash and reuse cloth diapers instead. Finally I told my husband, I'm sorry, I just have to try cloth. If I hate it, I hate it, but I have to at least be able to say I tried.

A month later, a local baby store finally had my trial basket of cloth diapers ready for me to use for a week. I'm very glad I tried the loan program first, because I would never had made the same decisions regarding what kind of cloth diapers to get if I hadn't tried it first.

It was a very nice cloth-filled week. For the first time in weeks, we didn't have the usual mid-sermon poop explosion at church that invariably necessitates a complete outfit change. I heard the rumble, I held my breath, I waited for the stream of poop to squirt halfway up his back...and it didn't. Phew. In fact, we didn't have a single leak the whole time. That right there was reason enough to switch!

After the week was up, we ended up buying a dozen prefold diapers, three contour Kissaluv diapers, six Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers with liners, four Bummis Whisper Wrap covers, one wool cover, and three doublers. It's a decent start, at the very least. I never would have thought I'd like the prefolds, but they are so much easier than I expected. Plus, getting a dozen prefolds for barely more than one Fuzzi Bunz? Economically, you just can't go wrong with that. I did want the Fuzzi Bunz for going out with and the Kissaluvs for easy diaper changes for my husband (who finds prefolds far too intimidating at the moment), but for general day-to-day use, prefolds are perfect.

Next up, as soon as I pick up some lavender essential oil, I'll mix up a simple cloth wipes solution to use with our myriad of baby washcloths instead of using disposable diaper wipes.

I'm very happy with our switch. Now I just have to keep control of the desire to buy all the cute diaper covers and woolies out there!