Wednesday, 31 October 2012

What I Am Into - October 2012

What I Am Into :: OCTOBER 2012

On My Nightstand:

I just finished Richard Foster's "Life with God", and I truly can't say enough good things about it. It was as challenging as it was encouraging. There were so many passages I wanted to highlight, and I may have to purchase a copy of my own so I can do just that. I look forward to reading more of his books, particularly "Streams of Living Water" and "Celebration of Discipline".

In the meantime, I've finally begun reading N. T. Wright's "Surprised by Hope". Already I'm finding it both beautifully hopeful and deeply illuminative.

Want to Read:

I am looking forward to reading Rachel Held Evans' newly-released book "A Year of Biblical Womanhood", because as Rachel says, how can we hold valid conversations on the book if we refuse to read it first? The topics raised are too important to ignore. It may be easier to simply write her off as a "liberal nut" or dismiss her as having "no love or reverence for the Bible", but taking up the challenge of engaging these ideas is more productive than attempting to discredit her without first sincerely hearing what she has to say.

On the screen:

Same old, same old. I am still loving Once Upon a Time. So far Season 2 has been just as intriguing as the first season was. We've also worked our way through the first six seasons of Doctor Who and are eagerly awaiting the next episode in Season 7. In the meantime, we've been occupying ourselves with another watch through of the one and only season of Firefly. Good stuff, good stuff.

In My Kitchen:

Our oven has been out of commission for the past three and a half weeks. (You hear that, landlord of ours? Three and a half weeks. And counting.) Fortunately the stove top still works, but it's our crock pot that has really come through for us. Even so, it's getting really old not having a functioning oven. I miss cookies! And banana bread! And muffins! And baked dinners!

In other words, having no oven should be doing wonders for my waistline.

As we wait for our oven to be fixed, I've found a few delicious new ovenless recipes. Our favourite stove top one has been this savoury beef and broccoli stir-fry. As for the crock pot, it's been home to this chicken coconut curry three times since our oven bit the dust. This stuff is delicious. Fight-with-the-husband-over-the-leftovers delicious. I did make a couple of changes though. I put the chicken in raw rather than browning the pieces first. I added a can of chickpeas and three sliced carrots in place of the potatoes and onions. I used a full can of tomato paste and added a tsp of cinnamon. I put everything except the coconut milk in the crock pot and cooked on low for four hours. Then I added the coconut milk along with 1.5 Tbsp of cornstarch and cooked on high for one hour. Served over rice with some naan and plain Greek yogurt, this meal is pretty much perfect.

Finally, I cannot get over this delicious chicken stew with butternut squash & quinoa. Since I'm all about convenience in this particular season of my life, I simplified the recipe a bit, which makes it even better in my books. I used 1 litre of butternut squash soup as a base, omitted the chunks of butternut squash, and used some pre-shredded chicken I had stored in the freezer from a previous meal. Served with biscuits or crusty bread, this makes a beautifully filling fall dinner. It's a perfect guest recipe too, which I'm always on the lookout for. As if all that weren't enough, simply replace the chicken stock with veggie stock and the shredded chicken with chickpeas, and you've got yourself a recipe you can even serve your vegetarian guests. It just gets better and better.

And now I'm salivating. Moving on.

In My Ears:

Guys. The cuteness. The boy just made his very first mixed CD last week, and he's so proud of it. He plays it all day long and already has the order and corresponding track numbers memorized.

He spent an evening at my computer, browsing through my iTunes songs and choosing the ones he wanted. I put them into his own playlist and then burned the CD for him. It starts off with The Purple People Eater, moves into bagpipes, then continues on with a few Christmas carols. He's got some Brooke Fraser, some folk music, some hymns, even a Great Big Sea song. Makes his momma proud, that boy does.


Pinterest Finds:

Here's what I'm loving on Pinterest lately:



The boys and I did this fun little project last week. Easy but fascinating, it was the perfect project for little people! I'll be blogging about it soon over at The Hippie Housewife Homeschools, just as soon as I, you know, find time.


Source: flickr.com via Hippie on Pinterest

These salted caramel shortbread cookies are going on my Christmas cookie list this year. To the recipients, you're welcome.



This summery picnic quilt immediately jumped to the top of my long list of Quilts I Must Make Some Year. I figure if I start thinking about it now, maybe I'll have it done by summer 2014. Maybe.


What I'm Looking Forward to in November:

Christmas music! (What? November's not too early, right?)

Actually, our November calendar is eerily empty right now. I know it won't stay that way - it never does - but for now I'll pretend that November is going to be nice and relaxing. Maybe I'll even get some sewing and knitting done! Goodness knows I've got enough planned projects to keep me busy for years to come.

Well, friends, that is What I've Been Into this past month. What about you?

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Giveaway: $20 Gift Certificate from Dysfunction Designs - $20 ARV {Worldwide; 11.25}


This is a joint giveaway between Natural Parents Network and many other natural parenting sites. You may enter for all of the giveaways at one site only. Please find the section marked "Win it!" for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide

Welcome to the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide!


Natural Parents Network, The Hippie Housewife, and 24 other natural parenting bloggers are giving away 89 items perfect for gifting for the holidays as part of the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide. The combined total value of all of the items is $2,550.

Have you finished your holiday shopping? The NPN Holiday Gift Guide is a great opportunity to complete your gift-giving purchases for family and friends, while supporting many naturally-minded small businesses. The companies who have provided items for giveaway are almost exclusively made up of small businesses or work-at-home families.

Please stop back to enter the giveaway. The Rafflecopter entry system will be live November 1 on this post (and on every post participating in the Gift Guide). Please visit some of the other review posts listed below and read about the fabulous companies offering giveaways in the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide.

***

Please continue reading to learn more about Dysfunction Designs, which is offering our readers a giveaway of one $20 gift certificate.


About Dysfunction Designs


Dysfunction Designs specializes in unique handmade tribal jewellery for women and men. Kirsty Rice, owner of Dysfunction Designs, desires to create jewellery that allows individuals to express themselves in their own way.

According to Kirsty, "I'd like to think I put a little of my own personality into my designs and creations, but it's only when you wear the items that they really shine."

Kirsty's passion is for the alternative culture. From vintage-inspired to tribal, skater to bohemian, Dysfunction Designs offers handmade jewellery for free spirits of all kinds.

You can keep up to date with Dysfunction Designs on Facebook, Twitter, and the Dysfunction Designs blog.



About Dysfunction Designs' Handmade Jewellery


Dysfunction Designs' jewellery is available in a variety of styles and materials. The beads used include wood, bone, pearl, and polymer clay beads sculpted and textured by Kirsty herself. With no two pieces quite the same, you can be sure you are purchasing something unique.

The jewellery is sent out wrapped in hemp fabric, ready to wear or perfect for gift-giving.

The quality of Dysfunction Designs' jewellery is excellent. The clasps work flawlessly and the elasticized bracelets are discretely secured, with no noticeable knots or loose ends. The jewellery feels sturdy and although it is not made for children, it easily survived a few minutes of dress-up play from my own boys.

Jewellery is available as stand-alone pieces or in sets, and Kirsty is always up for working with customers on customized items. Whether you're looking for elegant, funky, or something in between, you're sure to find the ideal one-of-a-kind piece at Dysfunction Designs.


BUY IT!

You can purchase your own handmade jewellery at Dysfunction Designs. Bracelets start at $8 and necklaces start at $14. Dysfunction Designs offers free shipping worldwide!

And just for Natural Parents Network and Hippie Housewife readers, Dysfunction Designs is giving a 5% discount on all orders from now through December 31, 2012. Enter code NATGIFT5 during the ordering process.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win a $20 gift certificate from Dysfunction Designs, enter by leaving a comment and using our Rafflecopter system below. (Rafflecopter will be live November 1-25).

The winner will receive a $20 gift certificate for use on any order from Dysfunction Designs. Contest is open worldwide.

Our Rafflecopter entry system opens November 1.

MANDATORY ENTRY: In the box provided in the first Rafflecopter entry, tell us where you would have your prize shipped if you are one of the winners. You must enter your name and email address while leaving a comment in the Rafflecopter system for your entry to count.
Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries.

This is part of a larger giveaway hosted by Natural Parents Network. You may enter the whole giveaway at one site only, and we'll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy all of the participating sites!

Please note that each entrant can win only one prize, and NPN will be randomly assigning prizes to the winners. One of the giveaway questions asks which are your top five prizes so we can try to match winners to their preferences.

BONUS ENTRIES:
See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered directly into Rafflecopter. Give it a try, and email sponsorship {at} naturalparentsnetwork.com or leave a comment if you have any questions!

Monday, 29 October 2012

Giveaway: Libre glass 'n poly Original Tea Glass from Libre Tea - $24 ARV {US/Can; 11.25}


This is a joint giveaway between Natural Parents Network and many other natural parenting sites. You may enter for all of the giveaways at one site only. Please find the section marked "Win it!" for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide

Welcome to the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide!


Natural Parents Network, The Hippie Housewife, and 24 other natural parenting bloggers are giving away 89 items perfect for gifting for the holidays as part of the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide. The combined total value of all of the items is $2,550.

Have you finished your holiday shopping? The NPN Holiday Gift Guide is a great opportunity to complete your gift-giving purchases for family and friends, while supporting many naturally-minded small businesses. The companies who have provided items for giveaway are almost exclusively made up of small businesses or work-at-home families.

Please stop back to enter the giveaway. The Rafflecopter entry system will be live November 1 on this post (and on every post participating in the Gift Guide). Please visit some of the other review posts listed below and read about the fabulous companies offering giveaways in the Natural Parents Network Holiday Gift Guide.

***

Please continue reading to learn more about Libre Tea, which is offering our readers a giveaway of one Libre glass ’n poly Original Tea Glass, a value of $24.00.

About Libre Tea


Libre Tea is committed to sustainable people and planet practices, excellent customer service and engaging tea moments for all to enjoy and relax with. They are proud to be a 100% wholly owned Canadian company. Their mission is to inspire tea moments anywhere, anytime.

Wendy Weir, CEO and founder of Libre Tea, was inspired to create these glasses by her passion for loose leaf tea: "Tea, for me, is symbolic of an ancient ritual celebrating the secular as sacred. It is a space to take a breath, reconnect with oneself and the world. It is a time to stop — to enjoy life, people and the planet and remember the joys that life has to offer."

Share your favourite tea moments with Libre Tea on Facebook or Flickr. You can also follow Libre Tea on Twitter and Pinterest.

For updates and special promotions, sign up for their newsletter at LibreTea.com.


About the Libre Tea Glasses


Libre glass 'n poly Tea Glasses are an innovative all-in-one system that allow you to brew and drink loose leaf tea while on the go. These convenient travel glasses are available in the original 9oz size, the large 14oz size, and the 10oz mug style with an easy-to-hold handle.

All styles feature a glass interior, a durable polycarbonate exterior, and a stainless steel tea filter surrounded by BPA-free polypropylene.

Libre Tea Glasses can be used in two easy and convenient ways. For use with tea in the glass, simply add the tea to the glass, fill with hot water, cover with the filter and lid, and let steep. For tea with a limited steeping time, add the tea on top of the filter, fill with hot water, cover, and invert for steeping. When ready, twist off the lid and filter together, then enjoy! For more detailed instructions, safety warnings, and a helpful how-to video, see Libre Tea's how to use your tea glass page.

Libre Tea glasses are elegant and stylish, with a lovely motif both topping and encircling the lid. When steeped directly in the glass, the swirling loose leaf tea adds an additional touch of beauty; the extra-fine filter effectively prevents the tea leaves from leaving the glass while you drink.

The quality of these tea glasses is equally impressive. Despite their glass interior, the polycarbonate exterior grants them a surprising ruggedness. The double-walled construction keeps your tea hot or cold for up to one hour and makes the glass comfortable to hold.

Libre Tea glasses make it easy to drink loose leaf tea wherever you are - at home, in the car, at work, or outdoors - allowing you to take full advantage of loose leaf tea’s health benefits, environmental benefits, great taste, and infinite blends. These glasses are the perfect gift for the tea-lover in your life.


BUY IT!

You can purchase your own Libre Tea Glass at Libre Tea. Tea glasses start at $24.00 plus applicable shipping fees, or find a retailer near you!

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win a Libre glass 'n poly Original Tea Glass from Libre Tea, enter by leaving a comment and using our Rafflecopter system below. (Rafflecopter will be live November 1-25).

The winner will receive one Libre glass ’n poly Original Tea Glass. Contest is open to the US and Canada.

Our Rafflecopter entry system opens November 1.

MANDATORY ENTRY: In the box provided in the first Rafflecopter entry, tell us where you would have your prize shipped if you are one of the winners. You must enter your name and email address while leaving a comment in the Rafflecopter system for your entry to count.
Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries.

This is part of a larger giveaway hosted by Natural Parents Network. You may enter the whole giveaway at one site only, and we'll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy all of the participating sites!

Please note that each entrant can win only one prize, and NPN will be randomly assigning prizes to the winners. One of the giveaway questions asks which are your top five prizes so we can try to match winners to their preferences.

BONUS ENTRIES:
See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered directly into Rafflecopter. Give it a try, and email sponsorship {at} naturalparentsnetwork.com or leave a comment if you have any questions!

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Weekend Reading

But Now I'm Found @ A Deeper Family
Jesus came in the quiet, in the still and the small, and I opened my arms and said, I’m here I’m here I’m here. Take me, take my soul, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Help Thou my unbelief, but I believe.

Theology of the Kitchen Table: Fragments @ A Deeper Story
I need to say all of these important things by first showing this other, this person, this cosmos sitting across from me that they have been seen, that they have been loved, that even in our disagreement, they have been heard.

There’s something about the Eucharist in this.

Something about how at that Table, we are even in the presence of our enemies.

In which it’s not much fun being The Project @ Sarah Bessey
One after another, their big projects, their church plants, their ministry launches, they all failed. And quickly. In less time than it takes to travel once around the sun, these charismatic preachers went home to the Bible belt, and their parting shot? It was our fault. “You Canadians” are a hard-hearted people. (Now, I think they meant that we weren’t as loud or communicative as they would like, they prefer a big show of emotion and we weren’t very good at that kind of thing, you see. We didn’t respond according to the textbook.)

I wonder now if it’s not so much “Reaching Canada For Christ” as wanting us to adopt their version of church and culture and success. They wanted us to worship like them, to lead like them, to process like them, to think like them. They truly believed that their way was the Biblical and Best way. Bless them, it must have been hard and confusing work in a different culture.

Why Al Mohler doesn’t get Rachel Held Evans @ Mercy Not Sacrifice
When I look at how Jesus interacted with the Pharisees and what Paul had to say about his theological opponents, it sure doesn’t look like they were constrained by the pseudo-morality of the privileged that we call politeness. They called a spade a spade often quite rudely out of solidarity with the people who had been damaged by the bad theology of their opponents. Now I do agree that there is mockery that is just mockery, but there is also a legitimate role for teaching that follows Jesus’ model of “You have heard it said… but I tell you…” in order to let the rapidly expanding crowd of the ex-churched and never-churched know that the Pharisaic hypocrisy that made them leave the church or never consider it is not the only Christianity that’s out there.

There are so many smart kids growing up today who have gifts that God wants to use in His kingdom even though they would never be able to live in Pleasantville or believe that a guy named Jonah really spent 3 days without oxygen not being dissolved by the stomach acid of a whale (as if 2 Timothy 3:16 prohibits God from breathing out legends that are useful for teaching and equipping disciples). Rather than ridicule their “sophistication” and name it as spiritual pride, it is worth stepping out on the treacherous tight-rope of speaking the postmodern world’s language without getting sucked down into its nihilism. Not everyone has this mission field, but Rachel does.

Friday, 26 October 2012

My Church Mosaic (Part 5): Authentic Church

Twenty-nine years of the church and I have been shaped by her, become part of her, loved her and despised her and didn't know what to make of her.

These are my stories.


(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

_____________________

Finding peace in imperfection

That first meeting and the ones that would follow it were everything we had hoped for since losing our Community Church. We met in the evening and shared a potluck dinner each time, breaking bread together in the truest sense, communion at its deepest. We would worship together, discuss the Word together, pray together. Our children played quietly right there with us, looked at books, snacked on cheese cubes and apple slices.

Most of all, there was a sincerity that drew us back each week, hungry for authentic community.

* * *

The boy was drawing a picture of a truck while we discussed the passage. Something was said about Noah, I don't recall, but the boy looked up.

"I know about Noah," he said. "Noah built a boat."

"Yes he did," one of the men smiled. The discussion continued.

My heart swelled with joy. This was what I had been searching for, a place where my children were truly included, free to join in the discussion with the rest of the church. You wouldn't know he was listening, so intent was he on his drawing, but he was. He always was.

* * *

Sometimes I think everything hopeful is too good to be true. Can nothing ever just be what it seems to be?

Things began to change.

First we moved from meeting in homes to meeting in a building. Well, it didn't matter where we met, so long as we kept doing it together.

Next came the children's program. But we'd put four years into gently teaching our children to sit quietly with their activities through church services, had always been able to smile politely and move on when someone would mention their excellent children's program, so we would just continue to do so. Likely some parents appreciated having the option. Still, it was discouraging. Are we so unimaginative? Must we always fall back on what we know?

Then came less Bible, more business. Buzzwords, books, talk of change and growth and just get me out of here, I'm so tired of it always coming down to this. It had all been so good, so very exactly what we hoped for. Now we drove home feeling discouraged, more cynical with each passing week. Maybe we should just forget it. The desert had been so peaceful.

* * *

Backed into a corner. That's how I felt that night.

"The women and children will go to the children's program while the men stay for this quiet exercise, and then then men will go with the children while the women have their turn."

I should have just left. But I didn't. I silently seethed as I allowed my children to attend their first children's class. It was the typical Sunday School experience, cutesy songs and an "age-appropriate" Bible story, then some games and time to run around.

Church was never the same after that. He wanted to go sing and run around - of course he did! - and what used to be a non-issue became a weekly meltdown.

I was torn. Go against my conscience and let him go? Stand my ground and have church become a battlefield, a place of unhappiness for him? There was no winning, whatever I chose.

* * *

Hours. That's how long I would lay in the dark, long after we'd said good-night, writing and rewriting long letters in my head.

Do you know what you've taken from us? We used to drive home after church and all of us would discuss together, and he'd ask, always, "what did they mean by this? what does that mean?" and now nothing, nothing. I ask him what they talked about in Bible class and he can't remember. "Nothin'," he says. "I don't remember." Do we really need silence as we talk? silence as we pray? What of our example? What of embracing a small bit of children's noise in exchange for all the good it does all of us in the long run? Their little observations, their funny interjections, they have such a unique way of looking at things. Let them in! Let them watch us wrestle with the meaning of the text! Let them watch us pray - really pray - for each other! Let them see us cry, let them hear prayers answered, let them celebrate with us! Trust us to teach them in their own language at home, but at church, let us be a family, whole and together and not broken up by age or stage or anything else. You've released so much of the typical Sunday service - can't we let go of this thing, too?

But I never wrote them. Never initiated those conversations. I was too new - what right did I have to criticize their decisions? I was too defeated - what difference would it make anyway? I was too scared - how could I ever explain why this was so important to us?

(And I am the reason nothing ever changes in this world.)

* * *

One night came the official announcement. They had a new vision, one that had arose from much prayer. They sought to form missional communities, first one and then more as the church grew and more opportunities for focused missions arose. They wanted those of us who were willing to commit to that vision to join them in this new expression of church. They would support us, equip us, answer our questions and listen to our thoughts.

We wrestled over the issue together, the husband and I, for weeks. We had our questions, doubts, and uncertainties. We struggled to wrap our minds around these changes; what we had originally joined so perfectly fit our vision of church and we were hesitant to let that go. What had felt organic now felt increasingly structured and constricting. We felt angry, even betrayed. This wasn't what we'd signed up for.

We stayed at the crossroads for a long time.

* * *

It always came down to the same thing. Whatever their vision, whatever our differences, we couldn't deny their authenticity. We'd grown to love this community and their dedication to living a balanced life - inward, outward, upward - even when we disagreed on the finer points. These were people who loved with their whole selves, and that kind of sincere love isn't easy to walk away from.

Truly, love covers a multitude of wrongs.

* * *

We met with the leadership, asked our questions, talked over a shared meal. We were still hesitant, unsure of how this would all play out, afraid we'd be stepping straight back into everything we'd walked away from, the whole church thing instead of a living Christ-centered community.

We talked some more. Prayed some more.

In the end, we chose to commit.

* * *

It's been a year since that new vision was announced. We've stepped outside of our comfort zone and been blessed in doing so. As the dust of new change has settled, we've seen good things come out of it, felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in this work and been surrounded by sincere love.

This is a community that pours themselves into each other, breaking bread over a shared meal each Sunday, gathering together throughout the week, encouraging and challenging each other, serving others in the neighbourhood, seeking God throughout it all. This is a church that genuinely seeks to be a family.

We had sat at the crossroads for so long - step out in faith to walk with them towards this new vision, or jump ship before we get hurt again? - and even now we acknowledge that where we are doesn't line up in every way with our ideal picture of church.

(But then, wouldn't we go back to our Heart Church in a second if we were to live there again? Typical church in every way, vocational ministry, Sunday School, programs, preaching...and oh, that beautiful liturgy. Truly, I am a walking paradox.)

But we are finding peace in that incongruity as we witness the ways in which authentic community and sincere love cover over these small differences. So long as God's Word remains the foundation and Love remains the way of life, maybe we can learn to let go of some of the things we clutch so tightly. Open our hands and receive love in exchange.

This feels like the beginning of healing to me.

* * *

Thank you for joining me in the space, for listening to my stories. There are so many more - God in my childhood home, years of summer camps, the incredible blessings and deepest hurts of the greater online Christian community - but it is a relief to have written down even this much. Slowly I am learning to love the Bride amidst this broken institution, discovering a kingdom of love that is already beginning though not yet complete.

This journey will continue, guaranteeing as it does both blessing and pain as broken people walk together towards the promise of wholeness.


Learning to bear with one another in love means learning to allow one another the freedom to follow the leading of the Spirit. Your life experience is just one note of grace among the melodies and chords swirling throughout the assembled throng [of the People of God]. Only together will all of you, and each of you, discover the mighty song that the Spirit of God is singing through you.
- Richard Foster, "Life With God"

_____________________

Are you searching for a welcoming community of Christ-followers in the Vancouver area? Wherever you are in your own journey, please do feel welcome to contact me if you would like more information on this place we have come to call our church home.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

My Church Mosaic (Part 4): Unchurched

Twenty-nine years of the church and I have been shaped by her, become part of her, loved her and despised her and didn't know what to make of her.

These are my stories.


(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

_____________________

Into the desert

We had found what felt like true community and it became church to us. We gathered each week for food and fellowship, prayer and worship, study and discussion. We served food at soup kitchens and carried each other's burdens and it was everything we had imagined church could be.

But then our friends and small group hosts became pregnant with their second child. They chose to step down from leadership for a time. A new leader was brought in. A new host was chosen. A new location was settled on.

And children were no longer welcome.

* * *

Just like that, our community was yanked out from underneath us. We maintained friendships but it wasn't the same as gathering together each week. It had only been a small group, yes, but these people were the only church family we had.

We felt the need for a church home, tried a couple churches, but our heart wasn't in it anymore. We were too hurt, too angry, too confused, too burned out on the typical Sunday expression of church.

We gave up.


Unchurched

Our time in the church desert proved unexpectedly nourishing. We found great peace in our time of "unchurching". Old trappings were shed as we regained our focus. We hadn't turned from God but rather turned more fully towards Him.

What do you want from our lives? How can we bring you glory and blessing? How can we worship you with our whole selves? We'd lost sight of Him amidst all of the church distractions and now we sought instead to find Him where He was, here, everywhere, not bound by four walls or familiar practices, not buried under too much baggage and pain.

I didn't want church. I just wanted God. And He found me there in that desert.


Leaving the desert

It is said that a little child shall lead them, and so it was for us as well.

It had been months since we'd last been to church, when out of the blue he asked it. "Why don't we go to church anymore, Mommy?"

I didn't have an answer for him, but I knew it was time.

And so began our hunt for a church home.

* * *

So many churches. Hours, days, weeks, we browsed websites, read statements of faith, explored, dug, prioritized, what was preference, what was necessary, what could we live with, how could we find our way back into this broken system when we'd found such freedom outside of it? What was "church" supposed to look like, anyway?

But we knew we needed our brothers and sisters. We narrowed our list down to three.

* * *

Church #1 was a Mennonite Brethren church. Familiar to my husband from his own childhood, he felt at home there, while beside him I squirmed uncomfortably. I was the only woman with an unadorned head; I kept wondering whether someone would discreetly drop a tissue over my exposed hair.

There was a time of open sharing - bring a hymn, a verse, a word of encouragement. One young man stood up and told of his time hiking the day prior, told us how very big God is, just so big. I burned in the row behind him, burned to know that he could offer such grandiose insight while I had to remain silent, lacking the proper parts between my legs to afford me the privilege of speaking out.

I didn't even make it through the service. I left, stood outside with the baby and cried, waiting for my husband and older son to join me when the service was over. I could already feel the weight of heavy expectations, extraneous burdens, empty practices, pretense and hypocrisy and everything else I'd witnessed over the years.

I don't want to go back to all of that, God!

* * *

Church #2 was non-denominational. A relatively new church plant, it was far smaller than we had expected. Still, the people were friendly and it seemed like a church we could feel at home in.

Because we desired to attend the entirety of church as a family, we were relieved to find that there was no children's program - but then, there were no children either. There were a few teenagers, polite and engaging young people who played with our children after the service, while the remaining members were adults in various stages and circumstances of life.

We went back, hopeful, the following week. But we still had one more church on our list.

* * *

Church #3 was another non-denominational church plant. We almost didn't go because their calendar hadn't been updated in a couple of months, maybe they weren't meeting anymore, but in the end I phoned anyway because it sounded so perfectly in line with what we were looking for. I was given a time and an address and an open invitation to their next gathering.

We pulled up to the yellow house, nervously entered a stranger's home with our two children in tow. Inside we found seven adults and two small children gathered on couches and chairs. There were introductions all around. After a few more minutes of talk, the meeting began.

* * *

We strapped the boys into their carseats after the gathering ended. "Well?" he asked.

I grinned.

We had found our new church home.


To be continued...

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

My Church Mosaic (Part 3): Community Church

Twenty-nine years of the church and I have been shaped by her, become part of her, loved her and despised her and didn't know what to make of her.

These are my stories.


(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

_____________________

A new home?

The time came for us to leave our Heart Church behind. I followed that boy-now-man to the other side of the country, this time with a child in tow and another just beginning inside.

But as fortune would have it, our Heart Church had a sister church in our new city.

* * *

It started off so hopeful. The people seemed welcoming. The preaching was the same expository preaching we were accustomed too, shared with the same depth and background and context and language study and all the rest. It was even Newcomer's Week! We were treated to a lovely lunch, given a tour of the grounds, greeted by several people, asked about ourselves and our background and everything else. We left that day feeling that this church, despite being much larger than we were used to, could be our new church home.

* * *

The following week wasn't Newcomer's week. No one spoke to us at all.

* * *

We persisted, hoping that in time we would find community. We were happily surprised to find old friends there, another young family from our Heart Church. Our toddlers became close friends. We spent time at each other's homes. They felt like a lifeline in this sea of silent strangers.


Finding community

Our friends became both host and leaders for one of the church's small groups. Would you like to join us? Of course, yes, we'll be there.

Each Wednesday evening we would gather in their home, eat together, pray together, study the Bible chapter by chapter, worship and discuss and fellowship together.

It was here at last that we found true community, people bound not by some common age or stage in life, but rather by love for each other and love for our Saviour. Our children played at our feet, our babies nursed at our breasts, and together we poured over the Word of God.

This felt like what church was meant to be.


To be continued...