Monday, 29 April 2013

All the reason I need

I try to slip into bed quietly, but every night she stirs anyway. She squirms over until her forehead is pressed against mine and I breathe deep, inhaling her perfect baby scent. That moment, every night, is one of the most beautiful moments of my day.

And that right there? Is all the reason I need.

In that moment, nearly overwhelmed by my love for her, it matters not why we chose to welcome her into our bed since the day she was born. I'm not thinking about breastfeeding success or healthy attachment or even just getting some extra sleep; ultimately, she's there simply because I love having her there.

Oh, I appreciate those other reasons during the less magical moments. It gives me peace to know why we decided this was the best choice for our family. I think of those reasons on the nights - because yes, they come - when I don't want to be touched. I remind myself of them when I want to shove my husband off one side of the bed and the child off the other side and do a happy dance right there in the middle of all that the gloriously empty space.

Just keepin' it real, folks.

But those more objective head-level reasons aren't the real ones. The real ones are all heart, baby. I simply love snuggling with her warm and solid little self. I love kissing her soft hair and ample cheeks as she breathes the deep breath of sleep. I love watching her Daddy quietly lean over to kiss her goodnight before turning off the lamp. I love it when she drifts off with her chubby hand resting on my arm or her pointy toes pressed into the soft skin of my thrice-stretched belly. I love hearing her giggle in her sleep and being able to comfort her without a second's delay when she cries out suddenly.

She's delightful during the day, but something about the nighttime adds a special bit of magic to her.

And I wouldn't miss it for all the extra bed space in the world.


Just writing along with The EO...

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. All our girls slept with us and those where most defiantly some of the best moments in motherhood for me. It is not easy sometimes between just wanting to be alone in your bed to people commenting how it was bad for the girls but so worth it. My girls are now 20, 18 and almost 12. I believe those early years sleeping in our bed help in them becoming confident young adults. Their needs where always met. I would not have done it any other way. Kudos to you!!

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  2. "...simply because I love having her there." Yes. This is *exactly* how I feel about my little dude. At almost four, he mostly sleeps in his own bed through the night. But those odd nights when he sleep-stumbles into my room in the dark, and curls himself up next to me, and our breathing matches as his body fits snugly against mine.... those nights are precious. Maybe more so now that I know it's happening less and less often. Thank you for the reminder to treasure them while it lasts!

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  3. This is beautiful! I wish so bad we could have made co-sleeping work but it seems like all of us sleep worse. I have had many nights alone in the big bed when my girls couldn't sleep and I treasure those nights...heart to heart all night long. I am so glad you embrace that. (PS I found your blog through Just Write and am excited to read more!)

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  4. Yes! Titus sleeps in his crib often because he seems to like it there. But he also comes back to our bed a few times a week and I eat up all those glorious baby snuggles.

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  5. I love love love family sleeping, I feel like it completes us, when our little one is in bed with us!

    Came across your blog this week and love reading it!

    Bibi

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