We live in a basement suite and spiders are simply an ever-present fact of life here. They hide in corners and under blankets and inside every roll of wrapping paper I ever go to use. I've come to terms with them; sometimes I even let them live out their quiet lives in whatever corner they've made their home.
A few weeks ago, however, I nearly turned the whole house over to a spider.
I was quite innocently vacuuming my bedroom when I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I glanced that way, didn't see anything, and continued to vacuum in what I thought was blissful safety.
Then. THEN. The biggest spider I have ever seen (tarantulas aside) runs out from underneath my dresser, smacks my vacuum cleaner with its leg, and runs back to safety.
IT SMACKED MY VACUUM CLEANER. WITH ITS SPIDER LEG.
I sent my husband a text.
(The ceiling comment was because we were having some repairs done to leaky pipes above our bathroom.)
I then told him the rest of the story, so that he would know that I wasn't at all kidding about having to move.
The brave husband came home that evening and shone a flashlight under the dresser. He didn't see any sign of a monster spider, so I reluctantly agreed that we could go to sleep in our bedroom that night. Weeks went by and I didn't see leg nor huge hide of him, so I told myself the vacuum must have been the victor in that particular sparring match.
Yeah. Turns out not so much.
I rediscovered the monster spider a few days ago when another (smaller, spindly, not even a little bit terrifying) spider walked by the dresser, and monster spider ran out and chased him off. I mean...just...wow. You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.
Well, this morning I stepped into the bedroom and saw monster spider lurking just outside his home. I grabbed my phone because this just needs to be documented and shared with the world. That's right, I risked life and limb just to get this photo of the spider that lives under my dresser. I only wish it could better convey the sheer size and utter terror of this beast, but alas, 'twas only a cellphone camera and low light and a short opportunity before he retreated.
And now you know why we're moving on Saturday.*
* Okay, fine, so we're not actually moving because of the spider. But we really are moving on Saturday, so wish us luck - and, also, a spider-free new home.