Monday, 5 March 2012

God loves me...but so what?

I've been singing about Jesus loving me since I was a little girl in Sunday School, wearing my fancy dress and pinchy shoes.

Thing is, I don't think I've ever truly believed it.

My thought process has always gone something like this:

Sure, God loves me...but so what? God loves everyone, so, well, He sorta has to love me. Right? It doesn't really mean anything.

I don't know how this mindset developed, but it's been there as long as I can remember. God loves me, but only because He loves everyone.

Maybe belief didn't come easy to me because this love wasn't something I could work for. In every other area of my life, I was expected to stand out. From doing the readings in church at five years old to graduating top of my class in high school, there was no room for "good enough". There wasn't even room for doing your best...only for doing the best. Go for gold or don't go at all. Classic overachievers.

But with God, things just didn't work that way. Which is not to say the expectation wasn't there - I had all the right Sunday School answers, sung in the junior choir, helped light the candles, assisted with the Eucharist, knew how to be the shining example of a "good Christian girl". But still - still - God loved everyone. There was no teacher's pet with God, and I knew it.

So sure God loved me, but it wasn't because of my worth or efforts or good behaviour. He just loved me because He loved everyone. He loved me because he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He just kinda had to love me.

I was thinking about this again recently, comparing it to the idea that God loves me the way I love my children (only more perfectly, more wholly, more completely). I love all of my children, from my firstborn to my unborn. I guess, like God, I kinda have to. They're my kids.

But oh, I love them. I love them passionately. I love them so much it hurts sometimes. I watch them sleep, mesmerized by their perfect beauty. I find such joy in watching them grow and discover and become their own people. I truly adore them. I love all of them.

But I also love each of them.

My love for my oldest does not overshadow my love for my youngest. My love for the toddler does not diminish my love for the boy. My love for the baby growing in my womb does not negate the individual love I have for my birthed children. I love my four year old. I love my two year old. I love my unborn child. I love each of them, and I love all of them.

Could it be so with God?

Could it be that God truly loves each of us, just as surely as He loves all of us?

I hesitate to accept this. Goodness knows there is enough individualism within the Western church, too little understanding of the collective, of the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ. But even so, does my unique, individual love for each of my children at all take away from the idea that we are one collective family? It doesn't, so perhaps I could accept this too, this unique love from my Heavenly Father that is not made meaningless by his equal love for the rest of his human creations.

It only took me a quarter of a century, but I think I can finally believe it: God really does love me.

And He loves you, too.


  1. Thank you for sharing these thoughts, this helps my perspective.

  2. Thank you for your beautiful words and thoughts. I'm so glad I found your blog!

  3. Oh I Sooooooo needed to read this!!!! Blessings.

  4. You are a precious child of God and sometimes I think you feel as though you should be more perfect but you need to remember what the Bible states is we are supposed to be Christ like, we are to live a Christ like life. Not once did God ever say you are to be ME....perfection is something that only God had. We as humans he only asked one thing of us to live our life like Him not to be Him.

    I love you dear child

    1. Ah, yes, always following the footsteps of Christ. I love that God promises to complete this good work He has begun in us; it is so encouraging to me.

  5. What's becoming amazing to me is that God loves me as much as He loves His Son, Jesus, who is perfect ... because when He looks at me He sees perfection instead of all my shortcomings. It's really been hard to wrap my mind around and I don't think I ever will completely in this lifetime. I'm the absolute last person that deserves to be loved like God loves Jesus or seen like Jesus but God looks at me that way anyway. Mind blowing and the most comforting thing in the world.

    1. Beautifully said, Hollie...just as we love our children through no merit of their own. It is incredible, the idea of God loving us like Jesus. Breathtaking.

      There is so much of God and his love and mercy that I'll never come to understand here on earth; I love it when He gives me little glimpses like this, just a small piece of understanding. But oh, to realize the completeness of that love...I can't even imagine.