Tuesday 19 June 2012

I am your safe place

I can tell by the way you slip into my room when you wake during the night, sniffling as you shuffle down the hallway and then, having arrived, breathing that deep sigh of contentment.

I am your safe place.

I can tell by the way you run to me, crying, holding out a hand or lifting up a knee for me to kiss better. Like magic, it works every time. The tears stop and you run off, just like that, and I wish I could cure the world so easily as I can soothe your bumps and scrapes.

I am your safe place.

I can tell by the way you curl into me when you're scared, pressed hard against me, certain that I can protect you. One day you'll realize that I can't always keep you safe, but for now you rest secure in your belief that I am omnipotent.

I am your safe place.

I can tell by the way you reach for my hand when you're feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, sometimes wrapping both arms around my leg or hiding your face against my neck. I understand, sweet child, and I will allow you the time you need to feel comfortable stepping away.

I am your safe place.

I can tell by the way you tell me a hundred times a day, I like-a be wif you. I reply in kind each time - I like to be with you too - and I mean it so very much.

I am your safe place.

I can tell by our late-night conversations, my night owl, when you ask your big questions and explore your fears. I don't always know how to answer, but I hope that I can consistently lead you to God, our true safe place in this world.

I am your safe place, but I don't always understand it. Most days I feel like a child myself, pretending to be a real live grown-up but waiting all the while for someone to discover the truth. One day you'll realize that I don't know as much as you think I do, that really I'm just stumbling along, doing my best, like everyone else on this planet.

I am your safe place, but I don't always deserve it, this I know. I lose my temper, criticize, shame, and I see the confusion in your eyes. But more than that, I see the acceptance: I am your safe place, so what I say must be true, there must be something wrong with you. Oh, but there's not, sweet child, and one of my most fervent prayers is that you will always remember my apologies above the thoughtless words that prompted them.

I am your safe place, but I know it won't always be so. One day you'll find a new safe place and it will be someone else who strokes your hair as you confess your worries into the quiet darkness of night.

But for now, for whatever crazy reason, I am your safe place.

And I am honoured.


Just writing along with The EO...

7 comments:

  1. This made me cry. I could picture my boys in every statement and it's so beautiful. Being a mother is so powerful. Thank you for the beautiful thoughts.

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  2. It's a blessing to be the center of our children's worlds for a little while!
    Michelle
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/06/walking-through-valley.html

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  3. Almost in tears over here...this is so completely beautiful. Words I totally get but couldn't have said better myself. Love this!

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  4. This is one of my favorite parts of mothering :)

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  5. So precious. Beautifully written.

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  6. This is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you for putting the feelings of so many mamas into words!

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  7. Love this. Thanks for articulating what a lot of us mamas probably feel but don't have the words.

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