Have a Guilt-Free Summer

It's that time again - summer listicles galore. Must do's and bucket lists and you-only-have-18-summers-so-make-them-count reminders. Good things, to be sure, but only when they nurture and encourage us. Too often, though, they feel more overwhelming than anything else, just another burden, extra pressure, another helping of guilt, one more way we're not Living Up to the image of the parents we should be.

Breathe. And breathe again.

What do our kids need this summer? Room. Room to play, explore, run, wrestle, dig, splash, roll, and cuddle. Room to follow their own passions and curiosities. Room to make little mistakes, now, and to learn from them before the stakes are much higher. Room to be bored, and room to push through that boredom on their own. Room to figure some things out. And then some more room to process it all, to rest, and to be inwardly quiet for a while.

This summer isn't a checklist, get it all done or you've failed. This summer won't make or break your children's future. It's three months out of the 216+ months that they'll spend in your care, being nurtured and guided toward the day when they set out on their own.

It's lovely to get out to the beach, to wander rambling forest trails, or to have a picnic at the park. It's equally lovely to send the kids outside to play with water and dirt in the backyard, to ride their bikes up and down the block, or to read in the shade with an apple and a glass of water. A week at camp or a family vacation can be great memories; a week spent wandering in and out through an open back door, grabbing snacks while attempting to dig a hole to the center of the earth in the backyard, can an equally great way to fill a child with a sense of comfort, confidence, and peace.

Short story? It doesn't have to be momentous to be good.

So take the lists for what they are: ideas from which to select a few, tuck them away for a summer day that presents itself open and free and in need of an inspiring prod. Spend your days in whatever way best nourishes you and your family. Leave room for slow, lazy, and wide open; there's no pressure to cram in every opportunity summer offers. And if the end of summer arrives and you have yet to make popsicles, sleep in the backyard, or catch fireflies, it's okay. Love your summer for what it was; don't feel guilt over what it wasn't.

What has your summer looked like so far?

Rest in quiet trust

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
"In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."
- Isaiah 30:15a
In returning and rest, in quietness and in trust. His Word never fails to bring reassurance to my tired soul.

Oh Lord, You are so good.

And yet how easily I forget. I feel the urging of our culture, both within and outside of the church, to do more, be more, try harder, strive further, argue louder, follow this simple formula to improve yourself/your marriage/your kids in Six Easy Steps. Again and again He reminds me that this quiet life is enough. His burden is light; rest in quiet trust.

My prayers have felt like this lately. Words don't come easily, so I simply sit. I soak in His presence. I breathe in His peace. I listen more than I talk. I carry that steady communion with me as I continue with my day, and it is good. It is good to simply sit and rest, to be still and quiet before the One who formed me and knows me and loves me. Somehow the silence feels full even when my words feel empty. He is there.

May your weekend be filled with quiet rest.

Letting go and celebrating small victories

I'm tired.

Really, to say I'm tired feels like a ridiculous understatement. This past month has been the lowest I've felt quite possibly ever. I'm tired in that if-I-have-to-stand-up-I-might-cry sort of way. Just let me sleep and then sleep some more. Please.

But I can't. I'm pregnant and raising two small children and I'm surviving but some days that doesn't feel like much.

I'm tired.

And no wonder. After my blood test last week, my midwife phoned to tell me my iron levels had dropped significantly and my iron stores had plummeted spectacularly since my last blood test. The Floradix I'd been taking, which had thus far allowed me to do such things as feed the children and maintain some semblance of being on top of the housework, wasn't enough. So I have more iron supplements on the way, along with some chlorella, and maybe I'll soon be able to return to the land of the living.

In the meantime, you know what? I'm not dealing so well. I cry. A lot. I cannot even tell you how very much I am not a crier. I didn't cry when my husband proposed. I didn't cry on our wedding day. Not when I saw the positive pregnancy tests, nor when I saw all the disappointing negative ones in between the first two. I didn't cry when my babies were born. I didn't cry when my granddad died. I've often felt guilty about it, even as a very little child, but I just don't cry.

Yet here I am, sobbing in the shower and when I lay down in bed and when I have to somehow find the energy to get dressed. And when I'm not crying, I feel like I'm about two seconds away from doing so.

Everything feels like a huge deal. I need to make a decision? Cue the tears. Don't make me decide anything. Please. I see another disgusting "we must WIN THIS CULTURE WAR!!!1111ELEVENTY!!!!" post on Facebook? Cue the tears. And the rage. And the dwelling on it for the next week. Oh yes. Overreaction has become my new constant companion.

I have no appetite. I haven't had an appetite since before I was pregnant. I don't want food. I don't want to think about food. I don't want to cook food. I don't want to plan what food everyone else is going to eat. I don't want to have to think, period.

But the worst of it is myself and my shoulds.

It's a nice day out. I should take the kids to the park.

It's noon. I should figure out what I'm going to make for dinner.

Dinner's done. We should go for our evening walk through the forest trails behind our house.

It's Saturday. We should go to the farmer's market and then have a picnic afterwards.

I should take the kids swimming, like I've been promising forever. I should do more with them. I should work more with the boy on his reading and writing. I should I should I should should should.

And this is probably just more overreaction on my part, but I'm tired of the blame being placed on Pinterest, or on "mommy blogs", or on Facebook, or on whatever. These shoulds are all mine, baby. I'm not trying to make a "pinnable" life. I'm not trying to live up to some image projected by any of the bloggers I follow. It might be easy to blame our whatever - perceived shortcomings, longings, misplaced motivations - on Pinterest or blogs or Facebook or insert other online target here, but the truth is it's just me and my own expectations of myself.

So I'm letting go and celebrating the small victories. No more shoulds, just reality. If we don't make it further than our front yard, awesome. If all I can bring myself to make for dinner is a pot of oatmeal, awesome. If we sit in bed and read ten books together instead of going for a walk, awesome. If we go to Timmie's after the farmer's market instead of having a lovely outdoor picnic that I've prepared the night before, doubly awesome, because I love Timmie's.

Whatever. I made it through another day? I'm awesome. Go me and my utter lack of iron. I can be a different kind of awesome when I have the energy I need to raise my arms above my head and wash my own damn hair without crying. For now, this is my awesome.

And I'm celebrating this week's small victories:

• We searched out some new adventures earlier this week. Two toddlers, the boy, and myself, we walked down to the open field before the playground and I sat on a blanket, throwing balls for them to chase. Then we became pirates looking for treasure, and they brought all sorts of lovely things to me. I handed over the water bottle so they could make a little patch of mud to play in. It was lovely and simple and hey, it was something beyond the front yard. Victory.

• We ate. Every day. Victory.

• Bedtime the past two nights? Happened without any yelling or impatience on my part. Victory.

• We went to the library before yesterday's midwife appointment and brought home a stack of awesomeness. And then we read through half of them in one sitting. Victory.

• I scrubbed under the kitchen table so that my mother-in-law's feet wouldn't stick to the floor when she visited this weekend. Would she have cared if I hadn't? Not even a tiny little bit. Was it my own stupid pride that had me down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor last night? You bet. Am I going to celebrate it anyway? Absolutely. Victory.

• The kids and I are all freshly bathed/showered and ready to go grocery shopping when the husband is finished school today. I've even planned a couple of meals. My mother-in-law won't be offered oatmeal for dinner while she's visiting. Victory.

• I'm letting go of self-imposed shoulds and embracing what is. Victory.

Celebrate with me? Share your own small victories from this week. Because you're awesome too.

Attachment Parenting Series: Balance

Welcome to our seventh installment of the Attachment Parenting Series - Balance! Don't forget to use the Mister Linky at the bottom to share your own information and experiences!

What is it?

Balance in attachment parenting refers to balance in the parent’s relationship with the child, with their spouse, and within their own personal life. A lack of balance in any of these three areas can breed resentment and burnout.

How can we encourage it?

Attachment parenting, at its most basic, encourages parents to know their child and respond appropriately to their child’s needs. It is not a set list of rules and requirements, but a fluid, family-specific approach to meeting those needs in a sensitive and positive way.

There is a danger that the enthusiastic attachment parent will swing too far away from a parent- or schedule-centered approach and into a child-centered approach instead. Neither extreme is healthy, however. An imbalance in any area – with the child, with the spouse, or within the parent’s own personal life – will quickly lead to resentment and burnout, leaving the parent without the physical and emotional resources necessary in attachment parenting.

Although the child’s needs must be a priority, balance demands that everyone’s needs be recognized, validated, and met as far as possible. It is important that the family seeks this balance for the sake of both the family unit and the individuals within it.

Balance with the child

In their eagerness to give the child everything he needs, the parent may also begin to give the child everything he wants. When responding appropriately to the child’s needs, however, it is important that an emphasis be placed on appropriately. This requires knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.

Attachment parenting is not permissive, indulgent, or martyr parenting. The parent is not expected to give the child everything he wants, do everything for him, or sacrifice themselves in an unhealthy manner. That sort of parenting creates a false dependency on the parent, preventing the child from developing in a healthy and age-appropriate manner.

Balance with the child will require attentiveness without indulgence, facilitating the child’s journey towards a healthy, age-appropriate independence. This balance will shift as the child grows, as the needs of a newborn, an older baby, a toddler, a preschooler, a growing child, and a teenager are all very different. In this sense balance is fluid, ever-changing along with the needs of the child. Learning to read and appropriately respond to the child’s cues will lead to the understanding necessary to make this balance possible.

Balance with the spouse

As they focus their energy on meeting the needs of the child, the parent may begin to neglect the needs of their spouse.* Conversely, others may find themselves unwilling to acknowledge the new dynamic a child brings to the marriage, putting that existing relationship above the new parent/child relationship. Too much focus on either relationship will be to the detriment of the other.

Children must have their needs met, but the needs of the marriage must also be valued and met as far as possible. The practicalities of this will vary along with the shifting family dynamics. Some seasons of childhood require a more immediate and time-intensive response, while other seasons leave more room for a renewed focus on the marriage relationship. The mature parent will recognize and accept these varying seasons and work to maintain the marriage relationship within their accompanying restraints. This requires dedication, openness, and creativity.

When both parents are working together towards the common goal of fostering an attached relationship with their child, they will naturally be drawn together in the process. It will be easier for the couple to find a healthy balance between fostering these parent/child relationships and maintaining the existing marriage relationship. When the parents have different goals, however, with one parent seeking an attached parent/child relationship while the other takes a more hands-off approach, this balance is more difficult to develop and maintain.

*For simplicity’s sake, I refer to the “spouse” and the “marriage”. Please expand this to fit any form of long-term partnership that involves parenting a child. The unique needs of attachment parenting as a single parent require their own focus, one which I am not qualified to provide.

Balance with self

Finally, as they focus on meeting the needs of the child, it is easy for the parent to neglect their own needs. The emotional and physical demands of attachment parenting necessitate balance; without it, exhaustion and burnout will quickly follow. When a parent has nothing left to give and yet the child still needs so much, it becomes prime breeding ground for resentment, anger, bitterness, depression, and defeat.

Balance with yourself requires valuing yourself and your needs, meeting those needs as far as possible. Again, different stages of childhood have different demands, and the parent must work to meet their own needs within these varying limits. Acknowledge that having a child requires a change in lifestyle, and then work to creatively meet your needs within this new and ever-changing season.

Before balance can be achieved, the parent’s basic needs must be met. Diet, sleep, and fresh air will allow the parent to function at their best. The parent must continue to take care of themselves in order to meet the long-term demands of caring for a child.

After meeting these basic needs, a key step in finding balance is evaluating your expectations. Are you trying to live up to an idealistic but impractical image? Are your goals realistic? Are you struggling with the weight of perfectionism? In getting to know our children and learning how to read and respond to their cues, we must be realistic and practical in the demands we place on ourselves. This requires that we maintain our ability to say no in order to avoid over-burdening ourselves.

With realistic expectations in place, the attachment parent must have the wisdom to recognize when they need help and to make that need known. Ordinarily, this help will come from the spouse; however, parents can also look to extended family, mother’s helpers, and the local community for additional help and support, both emotionally and practically.

Speaking specifically to mothers, there is sometimes a tendency to hover when the father is caring for the child. Doing so prevents the father from developing the confidence he needs to learn how to bond with, soothe, and care for the child in his own unique way. Instead, take advantage of these opportunities to recharge: sleep, read, go for a walk, work on a project, or meet a friend for coffee.

Finding balance takes time and involves much trial and error. Trust your instincts and listen to your baby as you work towards achieving a balance that validates and seeks to meet the needs of each member of the family.

What if it doesn't happen?

A parent will often find an imbalance in one or more areas. This imbalance may occur due to an over-focus on one area to the detriment of others, a lack of support, or a natural change in circumstances that necessitates finding a new balance. Attachment parenting under an imbalance is not sustainable in the long-term; steps must be taken to regain a healthy equilibrium.

If something isn’t working, change it

If it isn’t working, change it. Sometimes attachment parents get so caught up in ideals that attachment parenting itself becomes a list of rigid extremes that no longer match the child's needs. They begin to parent to meet other's expectations instead of following their instincts. If something isn’t working, change it.

Ignore negative advice

When that change is needed, there will be a line of baby trainers and parenting experts ready to tell you how to parent your baby. Much of this advice disrupts the parent’s instincts and trust in their baby’s cues. This advice can quickly undermine the parent’s self-confidence and cause them to question their commitment to attachment parenting.

Remember that you are the expert on your child. Change what needs to be changed, but do so in a way that continues to meet their needs. Ignore negative advice that pushes you to abandon attachment parenting altogether.

Get help

From your spouse, your extended family, your friends, and your local groups, get help. Find a community of support and use it. Be specific in letting people know what you need and how they can help you.

Fill their cup

It sound counterintuitive, but sometimes parents find themselves trapped in a cycle of being overwhelmed, pulling away from their child, and having their child becoming even more clingy and demanding as a result. The parent pulls away further and the child pushes harder. Break the cycle by spending time focused solely on the child, meeting their need for your attention, after which they will be more inclined to allow you time for yourself.

Reevaluate and prioritize

Rather than trying to do everything more efficiently, reevaluate and let go of unnecessary demands on your time and energy. Prioritize and simplify.

In more demanding seasons, remember that each stage is temporary – this too shall pass. Take a deep breath and continue to meet the needs of your child as you work towards regaining and maintaining balance with your child, your spouse, and yourself.

Our experiences

As a mother of one, I rarely felt the need for time to myself. Even as an introvert, I found I had enough downtime during each day to rest and recharge. I rarely went out by myself, and on the rare occasion when I did, I didn’t enjoy the separation from my child. I enjoyed spending time with my child and resented the constant suggestions that I needed to take time away from him for my own sake.

When our second child arrived, I soon began to feel a growing desire for “me time”. I had less time to recharge and what felt like an exponential increase in the demands placed on me. When I started to care for another baby part-time, the demands (and subsequent need for time to recharge) increased that much more.

As the weeks passed and I allowed my life to become more and more unbalanced, I grew increasingly angry and resentful. I was short-tempered, exhausted, and becoming detached from my children as I struggled to hold on to the last of my own internal resources. There was balance in the way I responded to my child’s needs and balance in the way I met the needs of my husband, but there was a distinct lack of balance with myself and my own needs.

Finally accepting that I needed a break, I left the boys with their dad while I went out for coffee by myself. The short hour that I was gone made a surprising difference in my ability to respond to my children and meet their needs. It was enough to make the need for balance in my life very clear.

Since then, the changing needs of our family have meant a regular cycle of balance and imbalance. When things are balanced, the atmosphere is one of patience, kindness, and understanding. When needs change and we enter a period of disequilibrium, resentment and frustration begin to surface. Recognizing this allows us to quickly take steps to regain balance in our lives.

Summary

In order for attachment parenting to be sustainable in the long-term, there must be balance. This balance must be present with the child (attentiveness without indulgence), with the spouse (meeting the needs of the marriage without neglecting the needs of the child), and within the parent (meeting the needs of the individual). Failing to validate and meet, as far as possible, the needs of all members of the family will quickly lead to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout.

Imbalances may occur due to an over-focus on one area to the detriment of others, a lack of support, or a natural change in circumstances that necessitates finding a new balance. This new balance can be achieved by changing what needs to be changed in a way that continues to meet the child's needs, asking for help from others, breaking unhealthy cycles by meeting the child's needs first, and reevaluating and prioritizing.

The varying stages of childhood and the ever-shifting nature of family dynamics will create a regular cycle of balance and imbalance. It is important that a period of imbalance be quickly recognized and resolved in order to regain equilibrium. The parent's instincts and the child's needs should never be sacrificed in the name of forced attachment parenting ideals or expectations.


Recommended Reading:

What Attachment Parenting is Not and Avoiding Mommy Burnout by Dr. Sears
Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life at Attachment Parenting International
On Labels and Limits: Why I no longer call myself an “attachment parent” by Megan Francis
The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to reclaim, rejuvenate and re-balance your life by Renée Trudeau


Now it's your turn! Add your link using the Mister Linky below to share your thoughts, experiences, resources, or struggles as they relate to balance in attachment parenting. I look forward to reading them! See you next Monday for our Attachment Parenting Series summary!

A quiet life

"Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others."
1 Thessalonians 4: 11-12

Words leap off the page. I read again: Aim for a quiet life. Mind your own business. Work with your hands.

Why had I never noticed them before?

The words are balm to my soul, healing wounds, releasing expectations, bringing reassurance. Live a quiet life.

My quiet life can bring glory.

More than that, my quiet life can be my offering, my worship. Hours spent washing dishes, sweeping floors, scrubbing the bathtub, these everyday acts of service offer themselves up as worship.

My life may not be grand, my service may not seem to be much, but this simple quiet life is enough. It is enough. I'm not caring for sick children overseas, but I spent last night caring for my sick three year old. I'm not building houses, but I am building a home right here. I'm not spreading the Good News to the ends of earth, but I am whispering it into the hearts of my precious little boys. I'm not doing great things...but these unexpected words tell me that maybe I am.

For what does God require of me? Simply that I act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God, that I love God with everything and my neighbour as myself.

I feel the weight of expectations begin to lift. The pressure to do "big things for God!", the call to live radically, the encouragement to do more, be more, take on more. But this Christian life does not have to be complex. I need not make it bigger than it is. A quiet life, a simple life, one of love and service - this is a good offering, a pleasing offering.

Perhaps it is, in its own way, radical. To simply love, simply serve.

The more I come to know Jesus, the more I find it true that His yoke is indeed easy; His burden is indeed light. Only Jesus - a quiet journey of coming to know Him, free from all the man-made trappings of religion and Christian culture in all of its various manifestations. Daily I fall deeper in love with Him, learning to die to self and take up the cross instead.

Today, soothed by the unexpected and joyous Word, I will take joy in this quiet life.

The magic of time

It just keeps happening, these moments when it strikes me that teaching does not have to be an active and deliberate thing. Learning just happens as we go about our daily lives. It is not forced, not contrived, not confined to "school time", but rather natural and spontaneous.

I know these things, and yet too often I fall into the trap of thinking I need to teach him these skills. I need to teach him his letters. I need to teach him how to use scissors. I need to teach him this, that, and the other.

I don't. He keeps proving this to me time and time again, and I keep forgetting just as often.

I've found it to be true with reading and writing. Every time I think I should start working with him on a new skill - counting, number recognition, letter recognition, writing, phonics, spelling - he preempts me by learning them all on his own. Sometimes he observes, sometimes he asks me questions, sometimes he practices on his own, and suddenly he just knows the very skill I was planning to introduce and teach to him.

I think I've finally got the message though. Sometime last fall, I bought him a cutting book so that he could "practice" his scissor skills. He was enthusiastic and eager, but many days ended up frustrated when he couldn't do what the page wanted him to do. He was far more interested in just cutting the pages into little bits. Finally, I put the book away, and the scissors sat mostly ignored for the next couple months.

Recently, he rediscovered the book in his small stack of generally neglected "I'm a homeschooling mom and I should get these materials so he can practice practice practice!" workbooks. He took a page out, grabbed his scissors, and effortlessly cut out the picture. Proud, he brought it over to show me. He'd done it. He hadn't needed to practice his scissor skills. He just needed to wait a couple extra months until he was physically ready to use them.

Foolish, foolish me. I say these things, I believe these things, and yet I keep on forgetting. If we provide a learning rich environment, our children will learn. They will learn in their own time and in their own way. Yes, there are certain things that require practice to master; yes, there will come a time when teaching is more active and deliberate. But for now and for most things, time and life will provide them with exactly the skills they need. Children have both the desire and the ability to learn - sometimes all they need is for us to step out of their way and let them.

Our Advent

Advent, coming, our time of expectant preparation, has begun. Our family is young, our traditions still fluid, and so we take this, leave that, seeking our unique way to prepare for and celebrate the joyous coming of our Lord.

In keeping with our family's priorities, our Advent activities this year have three goals:

Focused

We draw our hearts towards His coming. We begin at the beginning, seeing the bigger picture form as we read through our Jesse tree devotional. He is the center of this season, the One we are preparing for. This year we supplement our usual readings with the beautiful words of Ann at A Holy Experience. We keep our preparations focused.

Simple

With some sadness, we leave our Advent wreath put away this year. We will be travelling soon, visiting loved ones, and those last unlit candles always feel so unfinished. We sing the old familiar Advent hymns, and we talk, always talk, about the expectant joy of this season, but we leave out those things which threaten to become burdensome rather than useful or joyful. We are careful not to take on too much nor to allow busy distractions to crowd out our time together. We keep our preparations simple.

Intentional

This season should be simple, yes, and not burdensome, but neither do we want to fritter it away with good intentions and no follow-through. We want to live with intention, and so we create an Advent calendar for our family, guiding our December with thoughtful deliberation. We keep our preparations intentional.

Instead of candy or gifts, each day holds one activity. Some big, some small. Some fun for us, some blessings for others. Some keep us indoors, some take us out into our neighbourhood or further. Each activity is recorded on a sheet of paper, then folded into an envelope and hung, side-by-side with the rest, on a string on the wall. One envelope will be opened each morning, and when the envelopes are gone, it will be Christmas.

In determining the activities, we considered our priorities, local events, and the memories we wanted to create this season. Writing them down ensures that our plans become reality. It also makes it easy to confirm that the supplies we need are on hand and ready to go.

With room for flexibility and other endeavors, these are the activities we will be doing each day:

1 Decorate the Christmas tree
2 Paint a Christmas ornament
3 Go to a German Christmas festival
4 Go to a neighbourhood Christmas tree lighting
5 Make a pinecone craft and drink wassail
6 Go to the mall to buy our annual Christmas ornaments and an Angel Tree gift
7 Phone grandparents to sing Christmas songs
8 Bake Christmas cookies
9 Do a Mailbox blessing
10 Have our friends over for dinner
11 Take Christmas pictures
12 Make Christmas cards
13 Attend the Community Carol Sing
14 Go for a moonlit walk
15 Go to a Festival of Lights
16 Make cookies for a neighbour
17 Watch a Christmas movie (Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey)
18 Leave for Oma & Opa's house
19 (The baby's first birthday) Make peanut butter cookies*
20 Cut down a Christmas tree
21 Make a popcorn-and-cranberry chain
22 Go for a nature walk
23 Read Christmas stories
24 CHRISTMAS EVE - Have a birthday party for Jesus
25 CHRISTMAS DAY!

*The boy was continually asking me if he could give nuts to the baby yet. I told him he couldn't have nuts until his first birthday (rather foolish and arbitrary, really, since I'm quite certain I didn't prevent all of those nuts from making their way into the baby's mouth, but it feels like the "right thing to do"). The boy decided that the best way to celebrate the baby being "allowed" to have nuts would be to make peanut butter cookies for his birthday. Who needs cake? We're having peanut butter cookies!

Focused. Simple. Intentional.

What are your goals for the season? How will you be preparing and celebrating?

Meal Planning

Ah, Monday. My quiet day, my thoughtful day, my day of preparation for the week ahead.

I start the morning with a slow wander through Scripture, usually a chapter from Proverbs and a few chapters from whichever Book I am reading at the time (John, currently). I would love for this to be a daily habit, but my flesh is weak, my nature distracted, even though I know that the mornings that start off this way always lead to the calmest days. Today, though, whatever the rest of the week holds, this day at least will begin as it should.

Sometime around noon, I sit down with two pads of paper: my weekly tear-away calendar where I write down our appointments and meal plans, and my grocery list, already started and ready to round out with anything we need for the week's meals.

After reviewing our plans for the week and browsing the kitchen to see what we have on hand, I start allocating meals.

Where to begin

Busy nights call for easy meals - spaghetti, usually, using spaghetti sauce from my perpetual supply in our freezer (replenished whenever I happen to have spare ground beef and a few extra minutes), or a chicken pot pie if I have some frozen spare filling from the last time I made a batch.

Evenings where plans are uncertain are typically assigned fish, as I can defrost, prepare, bake, and have it on the table in less than hour. If it turns out we won't be eating at home that night, no harm done, the fish just stays in the freezer.

If it's only the timing of the meal that is up in the air, I often pull out my crock pot, knowing that I can have a delicious stew or chili waiting for us whenever we're ready to eat.

Wide open days are opportunities for either high-prep meals or new recipes that I want to try. Ribs, tacos with homemade shells, or a vegetarian stew over cous cous are popular picks for those days, along with a scan of my bookmarks to see what new recipes I've come across recently.

A typical day gets a typical recipe. Burgers (salmon or beef), stir fry, baked chicken, or apple pork chops along with a side dish are some typical dishes here.

Leftovers are also taken into account in the weekly meal plan. If I'm roasting a whole chicken, for example, I will turn the leftovers into chicken pot pie filling the following day. A chicken pot pie lasts us two meals, and I usually get enough filling for three pies. I make one pie and divide the remainder of the filling into freezer bags for another week.

Recipe organization

To keep from getting in a rut, I have all of my tried-and-true recipes organized in Microsoft OneNote. I keep the file open in front of me as I make my weekly meal plan. I ignored OneNote for the longest time, never imagining I would love it the way I do now. It is ridiculously easy to use, lets me keep everything in one place, and satisfies my obsessive need to organize things to the nth degree. Whenever I try a new recipe and find it good enough to make again, I add it to my OneNote recipe file.

My OneNote is set up with a "Recipes" notebook and a "Personal" notebook. Each notebook is further divided into sections (Recipes: beef, pork, chicken, desserts, etc), and each section is then divided into pages (Beef: beef stew, shepherd's pie, pot roast, etc). For example, here is my Recipe notebook opened to the Chicken section (with a bonus chicken pot pie recipe if you can read the small print!):



Meal planning benefits

Meal planning has made such a big difference in our grocery spending. I am able to buy everything I needed for the week, which means less impulse buys when running out for "just one thing". There is also less waste, as I am only buying things that I will be using for a particular meal. Grocery shopping is immeasurably easier now that I'm not eyeballing the groceries in the cart and mentally putting them together into meals, hoping they'll fit into whatever the upcoming days have in store for us.

Breakfast and lunch

I only plan for dinners each week. I keep a list of balanced breakfast and lunch ideas on our fridge to keep these meals simple. When we run out of a staple, like cheese, pitas, or tortillas, I just add it to the grocery list hanging on the fridge.

Breakfast:

• yogurt with berries


• bagel and fruit or applesauce


• oatmeal with berries


• apple slices with cheese or peanut butter


• cereal or granola


• pancakes or waffles

Lunch:

• bagel with avocado and cucumbers


• pita with hummus


• veggies with hummus


• quesadilla with guacamole


• soup and grilled cheese sandwiches


• fruit salad


• green smoothie


• eggs

Just look at that deliciously bright quesadilla, waiting to be topped with cheese!



Often we'll have either a "stick lunch" or a "cube lunch" (the boy's terms), which is basically just a bunch of fruits, vegetables, cheese, and pitas sliced into sticks or cubes, with hummus for dipping.



What does a typical breakfast or lunch look like for you?

An alternative method

One method of meal planning that I don't currently use but could make things less overwhelming if you're just starting to meal plan is to assign a particular "type" of food to each day. For example, Monday is chicken, Tuesday is beef, Wednesday is fish, Thursday is vegetarian, and so on. Or Monday is Mexican, Tuesday is Asian, Wednesday is pasta, and so on. Then each week it's just a matter of assigning something from each day's category and making sure all of the ingredients are either on hand or on the grocery list.

On the menu

As I sat down to make my meal plan this week, I started with a scan of the fridge (any leftovers or wilting food to take into account?) and a review of our week. Monday is typically grocery shopping day, so I keep those meals pretty basic. My father-in-law is visiting on Wednesday, so I needed something that met his dietary requirements and would make enough for all of us. Thursday will be a busy day with a playdate plus the baby we take care of part time, so I wanted something low-prep. On Saturday we will be going on our first date in about a year (!!!), so I needed something easy for the babysitter. With those plans in mind, this is our dinner menu for the week:

• Monday: tacos


• Tuesday: spaghetti (using leftover ground beef from tacos)


• Wednesday: maple salmon with rice and carrots


• Thursday: chicken pot pie


• Friday: leftover chicken pot pie


• Saturday: pizza


• Sunday: citrus glazed chicken with rice and broccoli

For more meal plans, check out Meal Plan Monday at I'm an Organizing Junkie. Happy meal planning!

The quiet place

My thoughts, my emotions, both have been such a jumbled mess lately. I feel torn in a hundred different directions and I find myself drawing inward, seeking grounding in this quiet inner place.

Part of me is reaching out, longing for stronger community, deeper connection, sincere and lasting relationships. Another part of me is drawing away, deeply hurt by other relationships, the desire for reconciliation warring with the desire to give in to the sadness and hurt and anger. Another part of me is frustrated that my desire for community and connection is so often thwarted, whether by circumstances or people or even myself. And still another part is quietly reminding me that while relationship is a good, God-ordained thing, my ultimate fulfillment must come from God alone.

I feel angered by the church, disgusted by twisted doctrines and misplaced priorities, repelled by the false humility, saddened by so many misunderstandings of God and Christ and what it all means. I long for more opportunities to serve Him, to speak of His irreplaceable Love, to fellowship with those who are sincere and beautifully imperfect, those saints who are covered in the blood of Jesus. I am wooed by my first Love, called back even as life tempts me away, and yet desperately clinging to the One truth, the One unfailing, the One unchanging, the One righteous.

I feel blessed beyond measure for what I have been granted in this life, these two boys. The weight and privilege of their upbringing bring me equal parts joy and terror. I feel confident one moment and overwhelmed the next. I want to be here for them when they need me; I want quiet moments to myself; I want time with my peers and my peers alone to develop and strengthen those soul-lifting friendships. How can I be everything to everyone, even myself?

My heart hurts for the sins and tragedies of this world. For those who are abused at the hands of another. For the children who grow up watching it, later becoming the abuser and the abused, always the cycles, those sins of the fathers! For those families torn apart by divorce. For the shocking cruelty humans can show one another. I long for Jesus to return, to wash this world of its sin.

My house began to reflect the chaos within. Odd how those habits which take so long to create can be dropped so quickly, dishes piling up, floors unswept, washing machine sitting idle, mornings beginning as untidily as they ended the night before. Interesting, too, how such outward chaos only feeds that within, not only for myself but for the rest of my family.

Again, always, it comes back to one thing: deliberation. Living with intention, with purpose, fully present in the moment.

And so I pull us back towards peace.

Simplicity

I clear away the clutter, climb back on top of the housework, and once again witness the calming effect that order and simplicity have on a family. I remind myself of the influence a mother has over her household. If I turn myself over to idleness, the rest follow suit. If I speak harshly and am quick to anger, my attitude is adopted by the rest. If I choose that which is easy over that which is good, I lead the rest down the same path. At times, this responsibility lays heavy and threatens to overwhelm, but I know that I must shoulder it nonetheless.

Routine

I begin to shape our days into a comforting routine. The go-with-the-flow infant days are over; my antsy preschooler and his distractable mama need a rhythm we can flow with through the days. A predictable beginning, middle, and end, with room to wander as life leads us, will lend stability and peace to our lives.

The Word

I return to my first Love, beginning our days with physical food followed by the living bread of God's Word. I sip tea from my favourite mug, warm under a blanket, and murmur the words aloud. My young audience comes and goes, sitting near me to listen for a while, then running off to play, soon back again to hear more.

It's not the quiet time I once knew, but I'm learning to work with this new reality.


"'The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.' Baby, I see you crawling towards the stairs..."

*excited baby squeal*


"'As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who-'"

"Help, I'm stuck! Mommy, let me out, I'm stuck!"


"'This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God. After this, Jesus and his disciples-' No, sweetheart, the baby can't have one of your candies."

"But I wanted to share with him!"


Such is life, my life, and I praise God for it - for these two adorable little "interruptions", for the guiding light of His Word, and for His peace that passes all understanding.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

Learning-rich environments for babies and toddlers

After writing about how we offer our preschooler a learning-rich environment and incorporate learning into everyday life, I received the following comment from Caitlin:

"I love your list of ideas. Sounds like a wonderful environment to grow up in! I nanny for a 14 month old, and would love to know how you set up a similar learning-rich environment for your younger son."

Well, Caitlin, I'd love to answer that with my own ideas, and hopefully readers will share some of their own as well!

Read

Many of the preschooler ideas hold true for younger (and older!) ages. Reading is at the top of that list. Babies and toddlers do well with short stories and engaging illustrations. This is not a time to be concerned about reading through a book front-to-back, but rather to go at the child's pace - linger on each page, describe the scene, point out objects, and stop when the child loses interest. Let them see you read for enjoyment, too!

Talk

Narrate your life. With my little ones, there is a constant stream of narration as we go about our day. This narration should continue as the child grows, with increasingly detailed descriptions and complex information given. Narration is the ideal introduction to object identification, colours, shapes, math, science, everything.

"That is a lovely red block you have. And here's a bigger one! Let's stack them - you put yours on top of mine. You did it! I'm going to put this blue one on top now. Now there are two blocks! Oh look! You bumped it with your foot and it fell down! What a loud noise it made!"

"Mommy's cooking supper right now. I'm slicing the green zucchini with my sharp knife. All done! Now I'm slicing the orange carrots. Let's put them in the pot! I'm going to clean up my mess now. I'm putting the peelings in our compost. Alright, time to add the tomatoes!"

This constant narration helps the child both to develop and enrich vocabulary and to increase their knowledge of the world around them.

Spend Time Outdoors

Again, this mimics the suggestion for the preschooler (and older) crowd. Time spent outdoors has a wealth of benefits, including (but definitely not limited to!) fine motor development, gross motor development, knowledge enrichment, sensory experience, imagination growth, and health benefits (physical, mental, and emotional). Just being outside exploring nature - grass, dirt, bugs, sticks, rocks, the works - will do much for a child's growth and development.

An excellent resource on this topic is Last Child in the Woods: Saving our children from nature-deficit disorder by Richard Louv. Another more practical resource is I Love Dirt!: 52 activities to help you and your kids discover the wonders of nature by Jennifer Ward.

Say Yes

Toddlers tend to have two common first words: "Mama" and "no". The latter is something that age group hears a lot. "No, don't touch that...no, that's not for baby...no, don't climb on that...no, don't go over there." No, no, no.

Sometimes a no is necessary, but the more we limit our no's and encourage our children to explore freely, the more opportunities they have to learn about the world around them. Even where redirection is needed, seek ways to incorporate a yes into your words: "Yes, you can climb over here...yes, you can jump on this instead...yes, you can press the buttons on your toy rather than the television." Recognize the intent behind the action and seek to affirm that by providing an acceptable alternative. There will be more than enough natural opportunities for your child to learn the concept of no without having to be told no at every turn. Encourage them to see, smell, taste, touch, and hear!

Free exploration can be either aided or discouraged by the child's surroundings. Keep off-limit areas to a minimum in order to provide the greatest number of learning experiences for your baby or toddler. When our older son was that age, these off-limit areas included the gaming system, the cat litter, and our textbooks. For our younger son (new house, new setup), they include the fireplace, the cat food, and Mommy's laptop. We reserve the bottom of our bookshelves for children's books, keep in-reach things either child-friendly or wedged in tight enough that they can't be removed, and keep harsh chemicals not only out of reach, but out of our home altogether.

I also put a lock on the toilet when they get to that age, not for safety reasons but because, well, some messes just aren't worth having to clean up!

Go About Your Day

Do the things you need to do - but include your child in them. It takes longer, yes. They're not really "helping", no. But they love to be included at this age. This practical life experience sets up good habits to be carried into the future while providing them with great learning opportunities in the meantime.

As you go about your day, draw your toddler alongside you. Hand them wet clothes to throw into the dryer. Have them move dry clothes from the dryer to the laundry basket. Let them fold facecloths, match socks, and assist in putting their clothes away. Let them splash in a sink of water with a cloth and some cups while you take care of the dirty dishes. Have them put away the utensils and their dishes. Include them in your dinner preparations. Hand them a cloth and a spray bottle of water while you're cleaning.

For the younger ones, a sling or other baby carrier is a great way to include them as you go about your day. Babywearing has numerous benefits ranging from convenience to physical and emotional health.

Play

The majority of a child's mental and physical development at this stage happens through play. Play provides gross motor development, fine motor development, sensory experience, cognitive development, attention regulation, creativity and imagination growth, abstract thinking, and problem-solving opportunities.

Provide a rich variety of open-ended toys: blocks, Duplo, balls of varying sizes and weights, and toys for playing pretend. Puzzles, stacking rings, nesting cups, bead mazes, and shape sorters are all excellent for developing problem-solving skills. Sensory play can include sand, containers of rice or beans, textured beanbags, a sink full of water, or a bowl full of dishsoap bubbles.

Musical play is excellent as well. Sing songs as you go about your day. Play a variety of background music. Provide access to simple musical instruments such as shakers, tambourines, and drums.

We try to avoid branded toys in our home. Some Cars and Thomas vehicles have managed to work their way in, but for the most part we've been able to keep the toys generic and open-ended.

In the same vein and for a number of reasons, we have no television in our home and only occasionally watch a DVD on our computer. The AAP discourages television viewing for children under two years old. Turning off the television can do wonders for a child's brain development and imagination.

Enjoy Them!

It's so cliché to say, but these years really do pass by quickly. Enjoy your child. Enjoy their snuggles and grins and first words and joyous discoveries. They will never be this age again.

What suggestions do you have for providing the baby and toddler crowd with a learning-rich environment?

A learning-rich environment

It's a popular question these days, three year old at my side: "So when does he start preschool?"

Well...never.

It has been nearly three years since I first shared my reasons for homeschooling. Most of those reasons remain the same today. Some are no longer as important to me as they once were. Other reasons have been added. Some priorities have been reconsidered, shifted. But throughout those three years, our resolve to homeschool has not wavered in the least.

I did, however, have a moment of panic recently, after reading yet another topic on what curriculum I should buy for my preschooler. Curriculum? Preschooler?? I have a preschooler! Should I be buying a curriculum???

Fortunately, it only lasted a moment. After a few calming breaths and with sanity once again reigning, I was able to remind myself that he's three. If there is anything - anything - that I cannot teach a three year old without the assistance of a full curriculum...well, perhaps I should reconsider homeschooling after all!

It's not as though there is necessarily anything wrong with the choice to use a curriculum, if that seems to be the best fit for one's family. If, for example, I had older kids along with a preschooler who wanted to feel included, I may consider something more structured. Or if homeschooling duties were being shared between the two parents, perhaps a curriculum would ensure a well-rounded education was being provided. Or whatever - I am not questioning the conscious decision to use a curriculum at this level, merely the assumed need for one.

The homeschooling market knows us well. They have a bottom line to look out for, so it behooves them to know their customers. The more they can sell, the better off they are. I don't blame them - they are a business, it's what they do. I just have to regularly remind myself that they are not there to look after my best interests. They are not altruistic simply by virtue of being a homeschooling company, whether secular or Christian-based. They are there, like any other business, to sell their products and make a profit.

My husband, sensible man that he is, is my voice of reason when I start to get lost in the sea of tempting homeschool products.

"Ooh, look at this, do you think this would be a good way to help the three year old learn math?"

"Well...no better than a bag of M&M's would be."

He's usually right. I could buy the flashy expensive math manipulatives, sensorial activities, or practical life extensions - or I could simply draw my child alongside me as we go about our daily life. He will learn these things.

In the end, real life is the best teacher. The most authentic. The most lasting.

So no, there will be no curriculum for us this year. Or the next, or the next, or...well, we'll take on a curriculum when (if?) we feel the need for one. In the meantime, I will continue to offer a learning-rich environment and incorporate learning into our everyday lives, rather than sitting down to "do school" at a particular point in the day.

I wanted to share some of the ways we accomplish this, and I'm hoping you'll share your ways too!

Read

We read. Read read read read read. We read aloud, every day, as much as possible. Nothing could be more important for a child's future education.

We aim to read quality books, gradually increasing the complexity of language, with longer stories, fewer pictures, and more advanced vocabulary. We seek stories our child loves and is engaged in.

Letter Recognition, Writing, and Phonics

We provide access to letter-based games and puzzles, a variety of letter manipulatives (such as fridge magnets, card stock cutouts, and paper printables), and good-quality drawing tools (pens, markers, crayons, pencils, paint, and so on).

His current favourite is his "mats", several dry-erase sheets with various tracing activities on, such as shapes, lines, letters, and numbers. He loves to create letters out of toothpicks, chopsticks, straws, noodles - anything that can be formed into the shape of a letter. We try to find letters in unique places, like telephone poles (T), car tires (O), or chairs (L). We talk about the sounds they make as we go about our day. Our library selection always includes at least one alphabet-themed book.

Knowledge Enrichment

Our library selections also include several non-fiction books, whatever he requests on that particular day. I often suggest ones that correspond to a recent field trip or activity - for example, a book on bees after a trip to the honeybee center, a book on animals after a trip to the zoo, or a book on "a year at the farm" after a trip to a working farm. We bring home and read knowledge-rich books that relate to his current interests, questions, and experiences.

Communication Skills and Problem Solving

If we can't find a book that answers the question he has, I assist him in asking the librarian for help. This typically includes a script and encouragement for him, and a translation for the librarian. When purchasing a new book or toy, we talk about the price, hand him the money, and allow him to complete the transaction.

When problems arise throughout the day, we work towards handing ownership over to him. What suggestions does he have for solving this problem? What might the outcome of a particular option be?

Beginning Math Skills

When asked for, say, five marshmallows, I will set three on the counter and ask him how many more I need to make five. If we need to prepare snacks for each of us, I will ask him how many we need for Mommy, Daddy, and two kids. I need three eggs and only have one, how many more do I need to get from the carton? How many more forks do I need for the table? How many more...?

We bake and cook almost daily, which presents a great number of opportunities for counting and introducing math concepts. We count things as we come across them over the normal course of our day - the stairs, the blocks in our tower, the cars we've been playing with. I point out page numbers when we're looking at a table of contents and then flipping to a particular story in a book.

Jars of buttons are ideal for sorting and counting. We categorize everything according to a variety of criteria. Spatial and sequential skills are developed through play with wooden blocks, Lego Duplo, train tracks, puzzles, and marble runs.

Beginning Map Skills

When we're driving anywhere, I have him help me find our way. I tell him our planned route at the start of the trip, and then break it down street-by-street as we drive. "We need to turn left at Clark St. Clark starts with 'C'. Help me find the street sign that starts with 'C'." This helps, naturally, with letter recognition and phonics as well.

We have maps up on his bedroom walls, one of Canada and one of the world. Because we have family, friends, and prior homes spread all across the country, we have many points of reference to talk about.

Fine Motor Skills

Developing fine motor skills prepares his fingers and hand muscles for the physical demands of writing.

In addition to all of the drawing, writing, and painting materials, he draws with sidewalk chalk, plays with playdough, and laces pasta onto bits of yarn. Having access to an easel or other vertical surface (like paper taped to a wall) is great for developing different hand muscles. He gets long stretches of sand play at the park, and he loves water play as he "helps" me wash the dishes or splashes with his baby brother in the bathtub. Scissors are another excellent hand muscle development tool, and even knife skills are beginning to be developed here with the assistance of a butter knife and a pizza cutter. Texture play is also encouraged - running hands through rice, drawing with shaving cream, or hunting for buried "treasure" (small candies) in a container of flour.

Gross Motor Skills

Big muscle movement is also essential. Besides just being outside as much as possible, we have fun with learning new skills such as hopping on one foot, doing jumping jacks, jumping rope, playing hopscotch, and throwing and catching balls of various sizes. He runs, jumps, plays soccer, swings, slides, digs, and climbs. Exploring the natural environment has nearly endless benefits in a multitude of areas.

Computer Use

There are excellent websites out there, such as Starfall.com and Get Ready to Read.org, that can be of great use in teaching a child. At this time, however, we have chosen not to make use of those, preferring a more organic approach as well as minimal screen time at this age. Likewise, we have no television in our home, occasionally watching a movie (educational or otherwise) on our computer.

Talk, and Relax!

We talk all day long, about everything. We excitedly point things out, drawing his attention to the wonders of the world around him. We answer endless questions, and when we don't know the answer, we seek it out.

Nothing we do, however, is a formal "time to do this" or "you need to learn this" sort of thing. Because our child is very interested in letters and numbers right now, we provide those sorts of activities and he does them as he wants to, along with the everyday pointing out letters and numbers as we go along. If he wasn't interested, it would not be a concern to me until he was closer to six or seven. There is much to be said for a slower approach to formal education. Those early years of play develop integral skills that will greatly enhance future learning.

Our constant dialog seems to naturally cover the things he needs to be learning at this young age - manners, community, nutrition, health, weather, and so on. He learns how to clean up his messes, take care of his body, and contribute to a functioning household. He learns how to take turns and how to carry on a conversation. He develops a rich creative imagination coupled with self-confidence that will serve him well in future problem solving. He forms an increasingly detailed understanding of how the world around him works.

The more he learns just by living, the more I understand the whole concept behind unschooling. Better to spend the day playing hard in the sunshine than sitting in front of alphabet flash cards.

In what ways do you offer a learning-rich environment and incorporate learning into your everyday lives?

Lighter

Last night I went to bed feeling several pounds lighter than I had when I woke up that morning.

Yesterday, I finally sat down and sorted through my paper.

When all was said and done, I sorted through four boxes, two large accordian files, and two stacks of paper. I now have in my garage, waiting to be properly destroyed, three full boxes of paper I no longer need.

Clearly, I can't deny it - I am a paper hoarder. I had bills and bank statements going back several years. I had birthday cards from when my friends were too young to even spell my name. I had high school letters passed hand-to-hand during class. I had pages of song lyrics that I had printed out for one reason or another. Old plane tickets, bus passes, travel itineraries, movie ticket stubs - anything that I thought might in any way have some sort of meaning or importance, anything I might possibly want some day.

Yesterday, I let most of that go. It was beautifully freeing.

I now have one small half-full box of meaningful momentos. I have our tax records (finally!) sorted and organized in one accordian file and our other relevant bills and important documents in the other.

I don't know why I hold on to paper so tightly. Partly, I suppose, to remember. I feel I have so few memories over the years, and I'm afraid of forgetting the rest, so I cling to anything that might hold even the slightest meaning. A paper record of my life, of who I was, of who I knew, of what I did, of where I spent my money, of...of...of.

I have carried around this extra weight for so many years, dragging it from one house to another, adding to it as the months and years went on. And for what?

At some point, I had so much "meaningful" paper that it all ceased to have meaning. Paring it down has meant that the small box I have left has more meaning than the piles of paper I'd had hours earlier. A small box of cherished momentos to replace boxes and piles of stuff.

Ahh...how freeing.

Living with intention

Last night we put our computers away and snuggled on the couch, engrossed in our respective books, his a Michael Crichton, mine a Jodi Picoult. Everything felt perfect - the warm fireplace, the soft blanket, the freshly baked banana bread, the cold water, the stolen kisses.

With our computers set aside, my mind's usual frenetic pace calmed. There was such peace in being fully there in the moment.

I need more moments like that.

Moments like yesterday afternoon, where we took our boys (and our books) to the park. The boy found a friend to run around with and some water to splash in. The baby laid on the grass, sampling the local vegetation. We read our books and watched our boys. I chuckled when the boy's new found friend pulled off his wet pants and underwear in the middle of the playground - much to his own mother's consternation and embarrassment. We stayed until the boy came to tell us he was ready to go home, rather than rushing him along like so many other visits to the park.

Moments like our recent outings to the farm and to the aquarium, hurried only by the voice over the loudspeaker announcing 15 minutes until closing. Looking at what we wished, no agenda, no timetable, no preset plans.

Moments like last weekend, a neighbourhood block party several blocks long. The boy clutching my hand on one side and a balloon in the other. The baby nestled in our mei tai, still on my front despite his height, hair-puller that he is - but all the better, I decide, as I inhale his sweet baby smell and kiss his soft baby cheek. We stand in line so the boy can have his turn jumping in the bouncy castle. The line is long, the day hot, but his delight was oh so worth it.

I want to fill our summer - and then fall, winter, spring, on and on through the years - with moments like these. Unhurried moments filled with peace. Fully present. Intentional. Deliberate. Life lived.

My freezer overfloweth

Not literally, though - we have a Really Big freezer.

I've been making double batches of everything that freezes well, one batch for now and one batch to freeze for easy meals and baking after the baby arrives.

So far I have:
40 chocolate chip cookies, unbaked
1 batch oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, unbaked
1 batch oatmeal raisin cookies, unbaked
1 batch oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, baked
1 batch oatmeal raisin cookies, baked
1 batch banana muffins, unbaked
2 batches dinner rolls, unbaked
8 meals spaghetti sauce
5 meals turkey soup
4 cups chicken broth
1 meal chopped carrots and celery (for soup, stew, sauce, etc)

Tomorrow I plan to add 3 loaves of whole wheat bread.

Next week I plan to add a chicken pot pie, a few more cups of chicken broth, more meal-sized bags of chopped veggies, a batch or two of zucchini muffins, and possibly shortbread or sugar cookie dough.

Before the baby arrives, I'd like to have a few casseroles in there too. I'm just trying to find things that freeze well, as I don't make many casseroles to begin with. Maybe I'll get really energetic and make a couple lasagnas next weekend.

I plan to have a couple blueberry pies and a variety of muffins (carrot, blueberry, cranberry, etc) and cookies in there as well before the big day. The boy and I bake something together every week, so having frozen cookies and muffins all ready to pop in the oven will make that much easier for a few weeks. I'll likely freeze some baked ones as well for days that I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed - just pull them out and let them thaw.

What do you like to have on hand in your freezer to make meals or meal prep easier? Any favourite desserts that freeze well?

When the cat's away...

What a week this has been! My husband, who has been unemployed for seven months, had a week-long temporary job. I love that man dearly, but I find it hard to keep a good house with him around 24/7.

A week without him has left my house mother-in-law ready. It's that clean.

The kitchen is scrubbed, clean (including the inside of my toaster) and completely reorganized. I feel like I have so much extra room in there now! I even tackled the top of my fridge.

Before:


After:


I sorted through the boy's toy baskets, tossing out all the miscellaneous "stuff" that had collected in there. Even though his baskets were suddenly much emptier, he has rediscovered all of his favourite toys and been playing with them much more often. Less is, indeed, often more.

I *coughputawaytheChristmasdecorationscough*, but we won't talk about that. Because it's February. And ow, my pride.

I cleaned and reorganized and tidied and cleaned some more. I have this odd desire to dance around my house now.

And the boy and I! We had so much fun.

I made a batch of playdough using a recipe a friend had given me. He played with this frequently and for nice long stretches of time, which I took full advantage of to get more cleaning done (and some web surfing...and some playdough playing...because who can resist playdoh?). I made a playdoh snowman, which the boy insisted needed a hat - so a hat was made. I give you, Cowboy Playdohman:



And Cowboy Playdohman after a few modifications done by said boy:



We played with bubbles (while Mommy washed the dishes).



We went outside! In the snow! For hours!



We walked to the produce market and picked up all sorts of wonderful fruits and veggies (and the obligatory yogurt, which the boy would eat several times a day if I let him). We tried our very first blood orange, which, though the name has always turned me off, was very good. We bought bananas, battered though they tend to be in the winter, with plans to make banana muffins in a couple days.



I hate to sound so giddy about having my darling husband out of the house for a few days - but seven months! You can't blame a girl, really.

Kool-Aid Playdough

2 1/2 cups Flour
1/2 cup salt
2 small packages of Kool-Aid
3 tablespoons of oil
2 cups boiling water

1. Mix flour, salt, oil and kool-aid until blended
2. Add boiling water, mix with spoon until cool enough to knead, knead until colour is well mixed
3. Store in air tight container or bag in the fridge.

Etsy finds

I'm loving Etsy lately (think eBay for handmade goods, only without the auctions), so I wanted to share some of my favourite Etsy sellers with you. You'll notice I bought a few skirts this summer. I feel guilty for spending money on myself, but my favourite skirts were wearing out and I just hate pants and shorts. Plus, my husband told me to. It's his fault. He made me.

My very first Etsy purchase ever was some felt food from Katie Made Goods (a Christmas gift for my youngest sister). Katie makes the most amazing felt food, as well as adorable customized teething dolls. I plan to buy more felt food from her when my son starts that sort of imaginative play. Right now, I'd be all "oh look honey, isn't this fun and adorable?!" and he'd be all "umm...whatever Mom", so we'll hold off on it for now.

I found myself this summer in need of a second denim tote, as the one I've had for years needed a little help on Farmer's Market days. A sweet friend of mine, Melody of Creative Radiance, made me a perfect one, with all sorts of useful pockets and really pretty fabric. Melody also makes custom knitted items, journals, and scrapbook albums.

My most favourite skirt ever was purchased from Andria Higgins Designs, who also sells handbags and embellished frames. I recently purchased a second skirt from her, and while I don't love the colours as much as the first one, it is a couple inches longer and should be quite pretty (I haven't received it yet).

I have such a hard time finding long skirts that fit my short legs, but I found a couple beautiful wrap skirts that fit perfectly from Siam2u. The skirts came all the way from Thailand and are truly amazing, especially the ones made from rayon. Beautiful and so comfy.

My last skirt purchases came from Tall Giraffe, who also makes pillow covers and coin purses. As a testament to how much I love my husband, I bought a skirt in, well, a truly hideous bright blue swirly pattern, because he loved it and wanted me to have it. This is one of those "don't leave the house with it" skirts. To make up for the hideous skirt, I also bought a really really pretty one from her at the same time. The skirts are fun, comfy, perfect for wearing around the house. Not so perfect for a windy day. And most of her fabrics are not the hideous bright blue swirly pattern that my husband decided was "so me" (*shudder*).

Finally, I bought some bandana-style headbands from GirLee Girls. Jenni very quickly and cheerfully picked a variety of fabrics to match the custom requests I had for her (to go with all my new skirts!). I haven't received the headbands yet, but she has great feedback and they look like they fit really nicely. I wanted something that wasn't as fussy to tie as the ones I have are, so these should be perfect. Just slip on and go!

Those are the Etsy sellers I've already purchased from. These next ones are ones I either haven't purchased from *yet*, or who have amazing products that are sadly a bit out of my price range (so I just drool over them in my favourites lists instead).

Palmetto Handmade sells these really neat little verse purses. They are fabric purses that fit a month's worth of verse cards in them. The verse cards come printed with various verses - she sells a set, for example, of peace verses, of joy verses, even a set of alphabet verses for children. These are definitely on my "to buy" list. She also has a couple of adorable and inventive baby items.

Mama Suds sells (vegan-friendly!) homemade body care products. Go ahead, pamper yourself.

Fate Goddess sells baby/toddler leg warmers - think Baby Legs for half the cost. I loved Baby Legs when my son was at the crawling stage, as well as during the winter (because those pant legs just never stay down!). I used them around the house instead of pants (made diaper changing a lot easier) and outside underneath pants (to keep those bare ankles warm). I think I'll be snatching up another pair or two for this winter.

Sadly, I'm not in the market, but Bronwen Handcrafted sells some *very* unique ring slings, pouch slings, mei tais (and more!).

Ellembee, Supastarr, Circular Accessories, and Rainbow Swirlz all sell hand-screened shirts in various styles. While I (sadly) cannot convince myself to spend so much on just one shirt when my $8 Walmart shirts do just fine, maybe one of you can. And post pictures, so I can live vicariously through you. Same goes for the awesome skirts Sutara sells and the neat organic cotton and hemp clothing Gaia Conceptions makes. Oh, and don't forget the girls' pillowcase dresses and the women's pillowcase shirts made by Designology - yes, I want pictures of those when you buy them too. Especially the pillowcase dresses for little girls, as I love pillowcase dresses but doubt my husband would appreciate me dressing my son in one.

Finally, my last two - Beneath the Rowan Tree and Green Mountain Wee Woolies both sell children's clothing and natural toys. I'm particularly interested in the playsilks, which I plan to buy my son for Christmas. Right now his old receiving blankets will do (he currently loves to have me tie one around him like a toga).

So go on, get shopping - and buy handmade!

In Which I Clean

Ah, how wonderful it is to have a tidy uncluttered clean home.

We had company last weekend, so I used it as a good excuse to do a deep clean of our house ahead of time. How oddly exhilarating a day of good hard cleaning is! Since then I've been tidying up twice a day, as I know that I do much better when I keep on top of things rather than end up overwhelmed and avoiding the mess after falling behind.

I did a bit of a mini-clean this weekend again,
sweeping,
mopping,
vacuuming,
ironing,
doing laundry,
washing diapers,
handwashing and relanolizing the wool diaper covers,
cooking,
tidying,
marking (I teach an online course),
baking (the best banana bread ever, according to my husband),
before finally putting my son to bed and, after one last quick kid-free tidy, relaxing for the evening.

It's so much more peaceful to spend the day in a tidy house (or, even better, outside).

My biggest difficulty as far as cleaning and decluttering goes is throwing stuff away. I'm terrible at it. Firmly against it, actually. After all, you never know when that desk calculator with the dead batteries and broken pen might come in handy - and, in any case, it was a gift. And that sweater you've never worn - it is really quite pretty and one day you might want to wear it. And all those empty containers - well, containers can be useful for so many things, right? Countless things! You can't throw them away. And that old tennis ball that doesn't bounce anymore - it's still a ball. You can, you know, roll it around or something.

It would seem I have issues.

BUT last week I forced myself to let ago of a few things (including the above-mentioned broken desk calculator and flat tennis ball). My husband is much better at this than I am. A little too good, I thought, as I pulled a Christmas card from his Oma out of the trashcan. Honestly! Not a sentimental bone in his body.

Now, perhaps someone could tell me - what do I do with all these rescued greeting cards??