Marriage

I love being married.

Last night was one of those wonderful precious nights where my husband and I laid in the dark talking until the early hours of the morning, our beautiful baby boy sound asleep snuggled between us. I so enjoy those times together, those fruitful discussions, those intriguing disagreements, those whispered confessions, those gentle reassurances and encouragements and affirmations.

My heart melted every time he brushed his lips against our son's forehead, each time he stroked my hair and whispered his love and thankfulness.

I fell asleep shortly before sunrise, snuggled against my best friend (sweet baby boy having been moved to my other side), feeling so loved and so at peace, knowing that there was someone who knew me so well and - for whatever crazy reason - still loves me completely.

It is so clear to me why marriage is a picture of Christ and his bride the Church. I've learned so much about the steadfast love of God since marrying this man who loves me despite my faults, forgives me when I wrong him, and seeks to serve me in whatever way he can. I delight in the same, loving him, forgiving his humanness, encouraging him, serving him, fulfilling my role as his helpmeet, his ezer, his "co-carrier of a burden", his "valiant ally".

I am so blessed to have married a man who understands true biblical marriage. Neither of us tries to "set the rules" or order the other person around. We are blessed with echad unity. Our marriage is an act of continual submission to each other, hupotasso, a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. Always seeking to put the other person first - perhaps to a fault at times! *laughs* It does make deciding what to do rather difficult when we are constantly desiring the other person's happiness.

This oneness, this echad, this unity - it's breathtaking. It is so much more than I imagined it would be. It is not the ultra-conservative church's grossly diminished hierarchy that calls for mere obedience, not the matriarchy at the other end of the spectrum, and not the business partnership of so many marriages in our modern society - God's picture of marriage is so much more than any of that. And I am so grateful.

I love waking up beside this man every morning and knowing that, barring death, he'll be there again when I go to sleep that night. I love resting in the certainty that our marriage will be "until death do us part."

I love that we have such similar goals. I love our differences that force us to think, and the discussions that arise from that. I love his straightfoward honesty. I love that he values my opinions. I love the way he treats me, and I pray that I always do the same for him.

I love, too, that our marriage is so fun. We enjoy being together, we laugh hard and often, we flirt shamelessly with each other. We're pretty much sickening. It's wonderful.

It still strikes me as amazing that when I met him twelve years ago, back in the seventh grade, I knew instantly that God had chosen him for me. He stood out somehow, this quiet boy, and I felt a certainty that I couldn't explain. I had long ago convinced myself I was mistaken when, eight years later, he asked me out at last. Nothing felt more right than finally marrying that boy.

And it still does.

Etsy finds

I'm loving Etsy lately (think eBay for handmade goods, only without the auctions), so I wanted to share some of my favourite Etsy sellers with you. You'll notice I bought a few skirts this summer. I feel guilty for spending money on myself, but my favourite skirts were wearing out and I just hate pants and shorts. Plus, my husband told me to. It's his fault. He made me.

My very first Etsy purchase ever was some felt food from Katie Made Goods (a Christmas gift for my youngest sister). Katie makes the most amazing felt food, as well as adorable customized teething dolls. I plan to buy more felt food from her when my son starts that sort of imaginative play. Right now, I'd be all "oh look honey, isn't this fun and adorable?!" and he'd be all "umm...whatever Mom", so we'll hold off on it for now.

I found myself this summer in need of a second denim tote, as the one I've had for years needed a little help on Farmer's Market days. A sweet friend of mine, Melody of Creative Radiance, made me a perfect one, with all sorts of useful pockets and really pretty fabric. Melody also makes custom knitted items, journals, and scrapbook albums.

My most favourite skirt ever was purchased from Andria Higgins Designs, who also sells handbags and embellished frames. I recently purchased a second skirt from her, and while I don't love the colours as much as the first one, it is a couple inches longer and should be quite pretty (I haven't received it yet).

I have such a hard time finding long skirts that fit my short legs, but I found a couple beautiful wrap skirts that fit perfectly from Siam2u. The skirts came all the way from Thailand and are truly amazing, especially the ones made from rayon. Beautiful and so comfy.

My last skirt purchases came from Tall Giraffe, who also makes pillow covers and coin purses. As a testament to how much I love my husband, I bought a skirt in, well, a truly hideous bright blue swirly pattern, because he loved it and wanted me to have it. This is one of those "don't leave the house with it" skirts. To make up for the hideous skirt, I also bought a really really pretty one from her at the same time. The skirts are fun, comfy, perfect for wearing around the house. Not so perfect for a windy day. And most of her fabrics are not the hideous bright blue swirly pattern that my husband decided was "so me" (*shudder*).

Finally, I bought some bandana-style headbands from GirLee Girls. Jenni very quickly and cheerfully picked a variety of fabrics to match the custom requests I had for her (to go with all my new skirts!). I haven't received the headbands yet, but she has great feedback and they look like they fit really nicely. I wanted something that wasn't as fussy to tie as the ones I have are, so these should be perfect. Just slip on and go!

Those are the Etsy sellers I've already purchased from. These next ones are ones I either haven't purchased from *yet*, or who have amazing products that are sadly a bit out of my price range (so I just drool over them in my favourites lists instead).

Palmetto Handmade sells these really neat little verse purses. They are fabric purses that fit a month's worth of verse cards in them. The verse cards come printed with various verses - she sells a set, for example, of peace verses, of joy verses, even a set of alphabet verses for children. These are definitely on my "to buy" list. She also has a couple of adorable and inventive baby items.

Mama Suds sells (vegan-friendly!) homemade body care products. Go ahead, pamper yourself.

Fate Goddess sells baby/toddler leg warmers - think Baby Legs for half the cost. I loved Baby Legs when my son was at the crawling stage, as well as during the winter (because those pant legs just never stay down!). I used them around the house instead of pants (made diaper changing a lot easier) and outside underneath pants (to keep those bare ankles warm). I think I'll be snatching up another pair or two for this winter.

Sadly, I'm not in the market, but Bronwen Handcrafted sells some *very* unique ring slings, pouch slings, mei tais (and more!).

Ellembee, Supastarr, Circular Accessories, and Rainbow Swirlz all sell hand-screened shirts in various styles. While I (sadly) cannot convince myself to spend so much on just one shirt when my $8 Walmart shirts do just fine, maybe one of you can. And post pictures, so I can live vicariously through you. Same goes for the awesome skirts Sutara sells and the neat organic cotton and hemp clothing Gaia Conceptions makes. Oh, and don't forget the girls' pillowcase dresses and the women's pillowcase shirts made by Designology - yes, I want pictures of those when you buy them too. Especially the pillowcase dresses for little girls, as I love pillowcase dresses but doubt my husband would appreciate me dressing my son in one.

Finally, my last two - Beneath the Rowan Tree and Green Mountain Wee Woolies both sell children's clothing and natural toys. I'm particularly interested in the playsilks, which I plan to buy my son for Christmas. Right now his old receiving blankets will do (he currently loves to have me tie one around him like a toga).

So go on, get shopping - and buy handmade!

Sheer brilliance

First they came up with a chicken pox vaccine.

This, as anyone with an ounce of common sense should have been able to forsee, led to an increase in adult shingles.

So what did they do?

They came up with a shingles vaccine too.

It's sheer profit brilliance.

(Oh, but it's not about the money. Really.)

Oh yes, and did you hear? There has been an increase in measles outbreaks recently. Measles are, after all, a "potentially deadly disease". Darn those religious homeschooled non-vaxers.

A few years from now, they'll be writing the exact same article, only about chicken pox instead of measles. Forget normal childhood illness (with lasting immunity, unlike the chicken pox vaccine's immunity). No, no, chicken pox is a "potentially deadly disease". Beware!

My boy likes cars

My in-laws were just here for a 10-day visit. I love my in-laws, they are truly amazing people and I am blessed to have them in my life. They're very supportive, even if they don't necessarily see why we do certain things the way they do (as evidenced by the first question MIL asked me upon arriving - "So, is he sleeping in his own bed yet?" She seemed to understand what I meant when I phrased my response, "No, he sleeps with us."). We had a great visit and I was sorry to see it end so quickly.

After they left, my husband told me MIL had noted our boy's obvious like for all things cars. After he agreed with her, MIL asked delicately if we, er, "encouraged" him in that direction.

Heck no!

My boy just likes cars.

We haven't tried to push our son into playing with "boy things" anymore than we would push our girls into playing with "girl things". He has stuffed animals. He has dolls. He has cars and trucks. He has blocks. He has a whole pile of "toys that aren't really toys" (his favourites are a spare toothbrush and a cheap flashlight).

But he prefers his cars and trucks over everything else.

And *believe me*, I tried to get him attached to a stuffed animal, thinking it might help him sleep better if he had something besides me to snuggle with. No go, only Mom will do. He has no interest in dolls, day or night. None of this nurturing care towards dollies that my friends with similar aged children talk about. Forget the doll, he wants his cars.

They join us outside, on walks, at church, even in the shower. His favourite pajamas are covered in racecars. (This morning he sat on the bed pointing to each racecar in turn, while I mumbled a sleepy "mm-hmm...mm-hmm...yes, there's another car...mm-hmm...") His favourite t-shirts are his construction vehicles ones. He shows his toy cars off to the other condo residents in the elevators and hallways. They're the first thing he heads for in the church nursery when we go down for coffee hour.

He points them out when we're outside (buses are still his favourite, and oddly he seems to have a particular thing for red cars). His favourite books are filled with cars, trucks, buses and construction vehicles. His first almost-word was dump truck ("duh-truh!"), but sadly he won't say it anymore (much like "uh-oh"). Heck, he even points them out in catalogues! I was looking through the Wish Book last week and he had to point at every truck he saw. When I pointed out the more traditionally "girly" toys, he gave me a look of near disdain and flipped back to a picture of a toy truck.

So, to those who like to think that boys only like cars because we make them like cars...tell that to my son. He just likes cars. And we had nothing to do with it.

Summer is...

burying feet in cool sand during a hot day at the beach...




berry stained hands...




helping Daddy change a flat tire...




and splashing in puddles with a new friend.




Ah, to be young again.

Mister Independent

This is what happens when a 15 month old becomes aware of clothes and choices:



Adorable, right?

He started off the day in blue jeans, a t-shirt, socks, and shoes. Then he found the bag of new clothes I'd bought for him the day before (a pair of pajamas and a zippered sweatshirt) and decided the race car pajama pants were to his liking. He walked over to his dad, arm outstretched.

"Eh! Eh! Eh!! EH! EH! EHHHH!!"

Ah. The "eh" stage. The "I want something very specific but don't have the vocabulary to tell you what it is" stage. The "hey, why did Mommy just lock herself in the bathroom without me??" stage.

Because the eh's are driving me a tiny bit crazy, Little One. That's why.

Anyway. Kind daddy put the very cool race car pajama pants on the little guy. And then, of course, the shoes had to go right back on, because not wearing our new big boy shoes at all times is simply not acceptable. A little while later, I was caught hanging up his new sweatshirt in his closet - a quick round of eh's later, the sweatshirt was on him instead of the hanger, thus completing the above ever-so-coordinated outfit.

Honestly. The outfits he's come up with this week. Today it was the still-loved race car pajama pants with a pair of swim shorts over top. Now there's a look that's sure to become popular.

His awareness and memory have shot through the roof this past week or so. Now he wants things, specific things, things that are in another room or up high on a shelf or put away somewhere. Unfortunately his vocabularly has yet to catch up with this increased awareness - thus the aforementioned rounds of "eh ehh EHHH!" going on around here lately, coupled with much pointing and dramatic facial expressions.

And so we've redoubled our work on signs - which has, admittingly, been sorely inconsistent in the past. We have the sign for milk down pat, and we've worked half-heartedly on "food", "drink", "more", and "done", but now he really needs them (as does my sanity). Yesterday we learned the sign for book, as probably half the eh's around here are in reference to wanting a book read. I *love* that he loves books, but oh. my. goodness. The constant books, all day long.

Mr Brown can moo...can you?

His current favourite book is Baby Cakes, a really cute interactive book where you kiss your baby's nose and nibble his toes and laugh and sing and so on. This is the first book that he's "memorized" - he knows what comes next and starts doing it before you even turn the page to read it. It's so neat.

Bouncy bounce Baby Cakes on my lap...YAY for little Baby Cakes, clap clap clap!

Hmm...he's currently laying on the floor snuggling with a pair of my soft pajama pants.

Never a dull moment, eh?

Why I still breastfeed

So, it's arrived - August 2008. The month that, in all of my great human "wisdom", I planned to get pregnant with our second child, thereby making our children two years apart.

Instead? I've yet to see even a hint of the return of my post-partum period.

15 months and not so much as a hint.

And here I was secretly ready to get pregnant again pretty much as soon as I gave birth.

*sigh*

It hit me hard in April, when my son turned a year old. Suddenly I was Ready. Yes, that's ready with a capital 'R'. But, sadly, no period.

A month later, my son started sleeping through the night (of his own volition). And still no period.

Now, having reached the month we "planned" to get pregnant in - and still no period - I'm having an even harder time with it. Yes, I am fighting the selfish desire to wean my son so that my fertility will return.

No, of course I won't wean him - but I can't pretend I don't find the idea horribly tempting right now.

And so - partially for the sake of my dear readers, but even moreso for my own sake - Why I Choose to Breastfeed my Toddler:

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least the first two years of life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least the first one year of life, and states that "there is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at an increased risk of illness.

Nursing a toddler has numerous benefits.

For toddlers, these benefits include (but are not limited to)
complete nutrition,
fewer allergies,
stronger immune systems,
increased cognitive achievement,
reduced risk of excema,
reduced risk of diarrhea,
reduced risk of respiratory infections,
reduced risk of ear infections,
reduced risk of childhood diabetes,
reduced risk of heart disease,
reduced risk of pneumonia,
reduced risk of Vit A deficiency,
reduced risk of future autoimmune disorders,
and numerous psychological benefits.

For nursing mothers, these benefits include (but are not limited to)
a delayed return of fertility,
reduced risk of breast cancer,
reduced risk of ovarian cancer,
reduced risk of uterine cancer,
reduced risk of endometrial cancer,
reduced risk of bone disease and arthritis,
and easier post-partum weight loss.

And those are just the benefits related to extended nursing (nursing beyond a year), nevermind the many benefits of nursing in general.

Another reason extended breastfeeding is important to me is because our son remains entirely unvaxed at this point. The extra immunity he receives from me is integral.

Also, it is reassuring to me to know that on those days when he doesn't eat much, he is still getting an optimal balance of vitamins and nutrients that he wouldn't be getting from regular milk.

Finally, we nurse because he still wants to nurse. The comfort and bonding aspect is of huge importance to us. Nursing helps my little one fall peacefully asleep each night. Nursing makes owies better. Nursing allows an overwhelmed toddler to seek a few minutes of solace at his mother's breast. And on grumpy days, when my son and I find ourselves feeding off each other, nursing allows us to take a breather and quietly snuggle and reconnect, walking away a few minutes later in much better spirits.

How could I even think of giving that up?

And so I find myself, once again, acknowledging before God the folly in even thinking my life is mine to plan. I've seen it said recently - write your plans in pencil, then hand God the eraser. So, God, here's my eraser.

I know, truly, that natural spacing of children through extended breastfeeding is the ideal. I've long thought so. I just had no idea that it would work quite this well.

But hey - Jesus was breastfed, right? And during a time when weaning didn't occur until three years of age or later. According to that standard, we're not even halfway there!

Here's to another 20 months or so of cozy nursing snuggles.

Psalm 22:9
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast.

1 Thessalonians 2:7
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.