The Gift of a Midwife: Shanti Uganda

I birthed my first child in a hospital, nurses and doctors and residents gathered around.

I birthed my third child at home, leaning on my husband as the midwife caught our baby girl.

But my second child, he didn't wait for a doctor or a midwife.

That one was born screaming into his Oma's hands, his Daddy on the phone telling the paramedics that yes, yes, the baby is being born RIGHT NOW!! My unexpected baby-catcher was trembling, and I was leaning on a bathtub instead of my husband.

The paramedics arrived and then the midwife soon followed and everything ends well, praise to God, with this story. It was, afterwards, merely a small blip in a pregnancy otherwise filled with excellent care and support.

Halfway across the world, another mother is not so fortunate.

For this woman and far too many others, the lack of a midwife or doctor is neither a too-fast accident nor a deliberate choice. Instead, it is the reality of life in rural Africa. With a severe shortage of doctors across Africa and access to care very limited in rural areas, 1 in 22 women die during childbirth.

Enter Shanti Uganda. The Shanti Uganda Society is a registered Canadian charity and Ugandan non-profit organization whose mission is to improve infant and maternal health, provide safe women-centered care, and support the well-being of birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS in Uganda.

One of Shanti Uganda's primary programs is the Shanti Uganda Birth House & Clinic. Located in the rural Luweero District of Uganda, the solar-powered Birth House provides mother-centered pregnancy, birth and postnatal care. Its team of six trained Ugandan midwives are dedicated to improving birth outcomes and reducing maternal and infant mortality rates in Uganda. From the Birth House, Shanti Uganda also runs prenatal education classes, a Community Garden Program, a Teen Girls Program, and a Women’s Income Generating Group.

Shanti Uganda’s Founder and Executive Director Natalie Angell-Besseling has seen the difference that the Birth House makes in the lives of mothers and children:

"Over 100 women die giving birth in Uganda every week. Not only is Shanti Uganda providing a safe, empowering environment for women to give birth, but we are defying these statistics and creating a new norm for birthing women in Uganda. Of the over 100 women who have given birth at our centre in our almost two years of operation, 100% have left healthy, happy and supported by our dedicated team of midwives."

Here's where you come in.

In order for the Birth House to continue, it needs a stable funding base. Shanti Uganda's Birth Partners program makes it easy for supporters to contribute a monthly donation.

While one-time donations are always gratefully received, a regular monthly donation helps Shanti Uganda to provide consistent levels of support and care with the least amount of administration costs, stretching your dollars even further.

As a Birth Partner, your donation is used to provide consistent care to expectant mothers and their babies in rural Uganda throughout pregnancy and birth. A monthly donation of $25 supports the birth of one baby every two months.

Each month, your donation will support a mother and the safe birth of her newborn baby by providing:

• 24/7 midwifery care,
• pre- and postnatal nutrition and education,
• all lab tests, and
• sterile equipment and birth supplies.

Birth partners will receive a special welcome gift, quarterly email updates, and an annual tax receipt. What's more, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you're standing up for maternal equity, healthy mothers, and healthy babies.

Consider becoming a Birth Partner today. Together we can work toward a world where every birthing mother has the care and support she needs and deserves.

Shanti Uganda (and a Mother's Day giveaway!)

Today I am pleased to introduce you to The Shanti Uganda Society, a registered Canadian charity and Ugandan non-profit organization dedicated to the support and empowerment of birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS.



Our Mission:
The Shanti Uganda Society
improves infant and maternal health,
provides safe women-centered care,
and supports the well-being of birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS in Uganda.

Programs

Currently, Shanti Uganda's programs fall under three categories:

Conscious Birth - Shanti Uganda's goal is to lower maternal and infant mortality rates, reduce HIV/AIDS transmission rates from mother to child, improve access to education and supplies, and honour every birthing woman. Projects include midwifery education, birth kits, and the Shanti Uganda Birth House & Learning Center.

Holistic Health - Shanti Uganda offers Teen Girls Workshops, where young girls are empowered to become more aware of and confident in their bodies. Each girl taking part in the workshop receives health education, a safe place to ask questions, a workbook, and a washable menstrual pad kit which allows them to attend school and do other activities while menstruating. The Shanti Uganda Society also supports locally initiated projects that improve the nutritional health of communities on an ongoing basis, including chicken coops, community gardens, and a Safe Drinking Water Initiative.

Sustainable Community Development - Shanti Uganda's Income Generating Training Program provides training, supplies and support to women who are HIV positive and either a grandmother taking care of multiple grandchildren, a widow, or a women in a situation of extreme poverty. Once graduated, the women become members of the Shanti Uganda Women's Income Generating Group, producing either beaded jewellery or textile products. Shanti Uganda also offers a scholarship project to provide young adults with additional education in the form of skills training or tuition.

Values

Shanti Uganda's core values are kept at the forefront of their program development. In their words, these values include:

Community Participation: All projects are locally initiated and supported with a deep sense of solidarity and ownership. Work on the ground is supported through the time, passion and employment of the local communities we work with.

Unity: We support and embrace everyone within the global family and believe in the power of unity to change the world. Moving towards a vision of ‘we’ allows us to act and serve from a place of love and compassion.

Sustainability: Our projects reflect our deep respect for the earth and all those who live here. Each project is able to sustain itself over time and provide long-lasting benefits for generations to come.

Traditional Values and Knowledge: We believe in the sacred power of traditional healing, wisdom, culture and community. All projects are rooted in cultural sensitivity and reflect the knowledge of the given community.

How You Can Help

Celebrate your mother this Mother's Day by supporting the well-being of birthing mamas in Uganda!

Donate

A general donation will allow Shanti Uganda to make the best use of your funds by contributing to the project elements most in need. Become a birth partner through a regular monthly donation, helping Shanti Uganda to provide consistent levels of support and care with the least amount of administration costs. Honour your friends and family by buying them a program-specific Gift of Action. Donate supplies, host a home party, spread the word via Facebook, or volunteer at home or in Uganda.

Shop

Part of Shanti Uganda's involvement in Uganda includes working with a group of HIV+ women in a women's income generating group to provide livelihoods and income opportunities. The Women's Income Generating Group produces beautiful beaded necklaces, bracelets, and earrings made from recycled paper, as well as a variety of bags made from traditional East African fabrics. Shanti Uganda also sells 100% organic cotton t-shirts ethically made in Canada.

Shop Shanti Uganda's Mother's Day sale and receive 40% off your entire purchase! Enter the code springcleaning at checkout. But hurry - this code expires May 15th!

Giveaway!

Shanti Uganda is generously offering to give away one of their beautiful bags to a lucky reader. These bags are made from traditional East African fabrics and are lined with batting to make a beautiful, colourful and sturdy bag that is perfect as a diaper bag, laptop bag, shopping bag and more. Each bag is made by their collective of amazing women who are actively creating their own destiny through financial independence.

(Colours may differ from product photo.)

To enter, simply leave a comment below (one entry per person)! Giveaway open to residents of Canada and the United States.


Comments will be closed on Sunday, May 13th at 11:59pm PST. The winner will be chosen via Random Number Generator and announced Monday morning. Good luck!

Comments closed! Winner to be announced in a separate entry Monday morning.

First-World Living: Taking the first steps

Last week I shared the question I have been wrestling with: What am I to do with this first-world life of mine? The words you left in response were a comfort and an encouragement.

Today, I take that question another step further, exploring first steps towards a more holistic way of walking justly. You can find me over at SortaCrunchy, guest posting on this topic of first-world living:

How do I leave behind this stage of being overwhelmed and move intentionally into a more holistic method of social justice? I don't have all the answers - maybe I don't have any - but I know that every journey starts with just one step.

One step...and then the next. I can do that.

I hope you will join me over at SortaCrunchy to read the rest and to share your own steps, small or large, towards walking justly here in the First World.

SortaCrunchy is beautifully written by Megan, mother of two little girls and author of the book Spirit-Led Parenting, to be released in spring 2012. Megan invites us into discussions about "faith, family, and a life more natural". Be sure to browse through her other lovely posts while you're there!

Giveaway day!

In celebration of a few blogging milestones, I have dedicated this past week to highlighting my top three local kid-friendly activities and online Canadian stores. Now I want to thank you - all of you - for your community, support, and feedback. What better way to do that than with a giveaway?

In gratitude, I have to give away a $25 gift certificate to the Etsy shop of your choice.

Sadly, Etsy has yet to offer site-wide gift certificates, so the winner will need to choose a shop, let me know which one, and I will arrange your gift certificate with the individual shop owner. (Come on, Etsy, get on that gift certificate thing you've been promising for the past few years!)

To enter, leave a comment on this post with a link to an Etsy shop. Any shop at all - your own, your friend's, your favourite, a random one you pull off the front page - any shop at all!

For additional entries, leave a SEPARATE COMMENT for each of the following (single comments will be treated as single entries!):

1. "Like" The Hippie Housewife on our Facebook page!
2. Follow The Hippie Housewife via Google Friend Connect below (comment if you already do!).
3. Subscribe to The Hippie Housewife via a feed reader (comment if you already have!).
4. Tweet, post, or blog about this giveaway (one entry per link).

Comments will close on Wednesday, June 1, at 11:59pm PST, with the winner announced the following day.

Good luck!

Milestones

Last week was filled with exciting blogging milestones!

Did you know The Hippie Housewife has a Facebook page? We passed 200 likes last week! RSS readers also passed the 200 mark, while Google Friends reached 100. It's always neat to see those numbers turn over.

Last week I also attended my first blogging event! As one of the 2011 Top 30 Fabulous Vancouver Mom Bloggers, I was invited to a celebration to meet the other top bloggers from both this year and last.

For a shy introvert like me, this sort of thing tends to be a bit panic-inducing. While Michelle was casually Facebooking about nettles a mere half hour before I was supposed to pick her up, I had spent the three hours leading up to the event madly trying to put together some sort of non-mommy outfit that might be acceptable for an evening out, trying to get my hair to settle down in a pretty non-mommy style, and trying to get myself showered, shaved, and presentable with two wild boys underfoot.

Oh, the stress.

It didn't help that, just minutes before walking out the door, I turned to my husband and said, "I feel ridiculous. Do I look ridiculous?"

There's only one right answer to that, am I right, ladies?

Apparently not.

"Not really," was his distracted reply.

(In his defense, he's since apologized at least three times, assuring me that I looked lovely and blaming his distraction on a voice mail he was in the middle of checking at the time. I'm considering forgiving him. Maybe next week.)

Anyway, I managed to show up to Michelle's on time, with a freshly vacuumed car because the previous version was really quite embarrassing. I'd blame it on the kids and the pretzels and pitas they'd been eating in the car recently, but I'd be lying if I didn't also acknowledge the Starbucks straw wrappers and empty chocolate wrappers on the floor as being all mine.

We arrived at the event shortly after it begun. I tried not to clutch Michelle like the lifeline she was (a million thanks for letting me pick you up so I didn't have to arrive alone!), grabbing the first wine glass offered to me and clutching that instead.

I soon had to release my glass for a quick picture, bringing back all my least favourite childhood memories. "You'll smile and look happy whether you like it or not! Chin up! Smile bigger! RELAX!!!" Oh camera, how I despise thee.

Pictures over and security blanket wine glass once again in hand, I headed into the crowd for the dreaded mingling. I enjoyed a fun conversation with the adorable Monika. I got to meet Janice, who is the sort of person I'd love to sit down with over a cup of coffee (if, you know, I drank coffee). I said a quick hello to the lovely Sarah (again!).

And I clutched my wine glass.

All in all, it wasn't a bad evening. The most exciting part of all? Arriving home to two sleeping children. Will wonders never cease.

Anyway! What better way to celebrate these milestones than a giveaway?? I will be doing just that on Friday. In honour of being part of the Vancouver mom-blogger community, I plan to use this week to highlight some local and Canadian businesses. Tomorrow I'll be sharing my top three local kid-friendly activities, and on Thursday I'll be sharing my top three Canadian online businesses. Then we'll finish the week off with a giveaway!

See you tomorrow!

Is Jesus greater than our differences?

Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought that if it was conservative, it was right (and of course everyone else was wrong).

Then that girl grew up.

It was hard to let go of the simplicity in that black-and-white world, but what a delight to discover grey! And not only grey, but red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple - such a beautifully bright and colourful world!

But alas, her former black-and-white world remained heavily populated, and the two worlds often bumped up against each other. Things weren't always peachy in her new colourful world either. Always too liberal for some, too conservative for others, she struggled to find belonging and community amongst all the colour.

In time she came to realize that a good part of this struggle was because she was searching for her double, someone who agreed with her in every way. It was just another form of black-and-white, only now she was looking for just that right shade of blue-green-purple.

And so the story goes. That girl is me, that struggle is mine. Maybe you, my sister or brother, have a similar story, or maybe yours is very different, but I'm sure of one thing: we're all headed in the same direction. Always the journey onward, always the two-steps-forward-one-step-back, always the growth that frees us to find community in the least expected places.

I'm still waiting for my happily ever after, but maybe we can find a bit of that wholeness here on earth in the meantime. How? By uniting in our one similarity - Jesus.

This unity isn't one more stab at black-and-white uniformity. It's a unity that acknowledges and honours the sincerity in each of us. We can love each other through our disagreements. We can embrace kindness, serve one another, and assume the best in each other's intents.

So you're a Calvinist and she's a Catholic and he's gay, but we all love Jesus. Can Jesus be greater than all the rest? Can even that one similarity outweigh our many differences? Is Jesus bigger than our disagreements?

I like to think so.

What about you?

This post was written for inclusion in the Rally to Restore Unity. What can our unity do? Maybe it can bring clean water to those who need it. Donate at the Rally to Restore Unity Charity: Water campaign.

This moment (and a giveaway!)

Last night, boys in bed, I sat down with some yarn, browsed patterns, looking for just the right combination. Picked up needles, prepared to cast on - and then the baby cried. Sighing, I went to soothe him, sitting quietly beside the bed as his eyes slowly closed and he fell back asleep.

By the time I returned to the couch, I'd changed my mind. That wool with that pattern wasn't quite right. Maybe this one...no.

So indecisive, always.

I gave up and sat back to wind a hank of yarn instead.

My local yarn shop could take care of it in one quick minute, but it was wonderfully soothing to do it by hand instead, to fully enter into the quiet moment. No rushing, no planning, no productivity - just the comforting rhythm and peaceful quiet. I went to bed calm and centered.

When morning came, I finally took pen to paper and started my long-intended list of thanksgiving. My written gratitude has been sporadic these past few years, the habit of daily writing it down lost in the whirlwind of marriage and children.

In the spirit of enjoying and rejoicing, I have begun again, content with where I am, grateful for all that I have, seeking beauty in all things, and finding joy today.

1. Flannel, soft and warm, covering boys in mama-made pants and blankets.

2. Baby boy nestling against his daddy's chest.

3. Hand winding yarn into a ball.

4. ...

In gratitude to all of you - for reading my rambling thoughts, for sharing your own, for the feedback and community you provide - I have one copy of Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts to give away. This book is amazing. The writing is pure poetry and the message is life-altering. Such a dare, to live fully where you are, to be fully present in the moment, to find joy in the midst of daily life and pain. The writing it down inspires the hunt and it is the hunt that brings joy.

To enter, leave a comment on this post sharing one thing you are grateful for today - one glimpse of beauty, one moment of joy, one gift of thanks, anything.

For additional entries, leave a separate comment for each of the following:

1. "Like" The Hippie Housewife on our brand new Facebook page!
2. Follow The Hippie Housewife via Google Friend Connect below (comment if you already do!).
3. Subscribe to The Hippie Housewife via a feed reader (comment if you already have!).
4. Tweet, post, or blog about this giveaway (one entry per link).

Comments will close on Monday, March 7, at 11:59pm PST, with the winner announced the following day.

Good luck!

Contest closed! Congratulations, Heather!

A Christmas people

Halfway through this first month, there aren't many signs of Christmas left. Most of the trees have been taken down, the malls are quiet and unadorned, no bells are being rung on street corners, and few houses still turn on their Christmas lights each evening. Another "season of giving" has passed.

I love the flow of the church's liturgical calendar. The yearly walk through the Story draws everything together, ensures we do not pick and choose our favourite focal points. And yet...perhaps, at Christmas especially, we leave too much behind. We pack away Jesus with the nativity, leave our giving spirit on the curb with the tree, and allow generosity to retreat to the back of our mind without the constant holiday reminders. We've tossed a few coins into the Salvation Army buckets, written a cheque to our charity of choice, and sent out cards with our well-wishes to friends and family. We've given our token nod to the birth of Jesus. Too often, that's it for the next ten or eleven months.

Is this really enough for us? An annual burst of generosity, of giving, of well-wishes, of time with family, of celebration of Christ's birth?

What would it look like if we wanted more, if we were to be a Christmas people?

I consider this, wonder what it would mean and what it would lead to, jump from meaning to meaning, deeper and deeper.

Christmas, "Christ's Mass", a celebration of Christ.

Mass, from the Late Latin missa, "dismissal", a dismissal from a church service and an entrance into our mission - a sending out! A celebration of the Eucharist.

Eucharist, from the Greek eukharistia, meaning "gratitude, giving of thanks". The sacrament of Holy Communion.

Finally, Christmas with its modern meaning, watered down to a "season of giving" - noble, yes, but missing the fullness and richness of all it truly is!

In all these ways and more, we can be a Christmas people.

We can be a people who celebrate Christ all year long.

We can be a people who recognized and daily strive to carry out our mission, both as the collective Body of Christ and as individuals in our particular God-given circumstances.

We can be a people who give thanks, as Jesus did.

We can be a people who give generously, caring for the poor, the orphaned, and the widowed year-round.

For which of these should be relegated to a once-yearly celebration? Which of these should not be part of the daily clothes of a Christian? Celebrate the gift of Christ, carry out His mission, give thanks, and consider the needs of others...none of these should be relegated to a mere holiday. If we were to truly be a Christmas people, to truly celebrate Christ and hold firm to all that entails throughout the year, what a joy that would be!

And so I begin, considering ways in which our family can enter into this continual Christ-celebration. Will you join us?




All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants' windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Will be gathering around their hearths and tables
Giving thanks for God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

Well they call him by 'the Prince of Peace'
And they call him by 'the Savior'
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
And they fill his churches with their pride and gold
As their faith in him increases
But they've turned the nature that I worship in
From a temple to a robber's den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

Well we guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgement
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In a life of hardship and of earthly toil
There's a need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus

Encouraging generosity in children

It can be hard during the Christmas season to encourage a spirit of giving, generosity, and compassion in our children. The opposite is steadily reinforced with everyone from family to strangers asking them, "what do you want for Christmas?" or "what have you asked Santa to bring you this year?" Difficult or not, there are a variety of ways we can provide our children with opportunities to cultivate generosity:

Purchase an Angel Tree gift

Angel Trees allow families to have gifts for their children under the tree on Christmas morning. Consider having each child choose a gift for a child their own age. Alternatively, purchase a gift for a teenager, as they are most often overlooked on Angel Trees. Contact your local Christmas Bureau for Angel Tree locations and for other ways you can help this season.

Donate some of their own toys

Have children go through their toys and choose some to donate to Goodwill. Not only is this an exercise in generosity, it serves the dual purpose of making room for the inevitable new toys on Christmas morning.

I found this story particularly poignant (taken from this article):

"I know of a mom and dad who had their kids go through all their toys one December and make two piles. The first pile would include the toys they planned on giving away; the second, toys they felt were worth keeping. (This made room for the new toys they’d soon receive on Christmas.)

The clincher was, this mom and dad talked about sacrificial giving, and shared how they planned to give one of their cars to a needy family. Then, they had their children give away the pile of toys they had planned to keep.

Sacrifice is true generosity. It was hard for a few moments, but unforgettable in the end. Those kids still talk about that incredible experience four years later."

Perform random acts of kindness and service

Give your children encouragement and opportunities to find ways to show others kindness. Homemade gifts for a sibling or a small act of service for a parent are great examples, and are even better when done anonymously. Brainstorm ideas with them as to what they can do to bless and serve others.

A tangible way to see the results of these small acts is to add a piece of straw to a makeshift manger with each good dead performed. In this way, they are effectively building a bed for Jesus as Christmas Day approaches.

Bake cookies for a neighbour or emergency service workers

Children can assist in baking cookies and leaving them for a neighbour. Alternatively (or in addition!), take a plate of cookies to your local firestation or police station to say thank you to those spending Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at work.

Make winter kits for homeless people

Many agencies serving homeless people hand out winter survival kits as the cold weather approaches. While you can check with your local program to find what they put in their kits, the typical one will include socks, mittens, a hat, toiletries, snacks, a blanket, and a gift card, all packed into a backpack or duffel bag. This makes an ideal group project as well.

Send cards to friends and grandparents

Give the gift of honour by sending cards to loved one. Rather than a generic Christmas message, have the child be specific in sharing why they are thankful for this person. Similarly, include children in choosing and wrapping gifts for others, allowing them to take part in the joy of giving.

Volunteer

Serving at soup kitchens and visiting nursing homes are popular ways families can volunteer to help others. Christmas Bureaus often need volunteers to sort through toy donations. Volunteering will depend on the age of the children and the opportunities available, so check with your local volunteer agency to see where your family can help this year.

Donate

Food banks often feel the crunch around the holidays, and the Salvation Army is out with their bells and red buckets. Kids enjoy dropping coins in the bucket, knowing the money will help those who need it. To make it more personal, they can do chores around the house to earn their own coins to buy a can of food or to drop in the bucket.

Share the season

Christmas can be a lonely time for many people. If you know a college student, widow, single parent, or anyone else who might be feeling alone, invite them to join in your Christmas celebrations.

Put together a box for Operation Christmas Child

Operation Christmas Child is a wonderful program that provides Christmas gifts to children in need around the world. It is a perfect opportunity for children to be involved in choosing items to prepare a gift for a child living in poverty.

New this year is Build a Box, allowing you to customize and pay for a shoebox online, to be packed and shipped by OCC volunteers. This option is less tangible for young children, but can be a good alternative if you are short on time.

Order from a gift catalogue

Samaritan's Purse, Compassion, and World Vision all have gift catalogues that allow you to provide real, practical support to those in need. With everything from soccer balls to chickens to wells, there's something for every budget. Browse through the catalogues with your children and involve them in choosing a family gift. These also make great gifts for extended family members when purchased in their name.

Don't stop after Christmas

Cultivating a spirit of generosity and compassion is a year-round venture, and the need for generosity is in no way limited to the holiday season. Find a way to make it tangible for children. One approach is to put cash in a jar, perhaps a set amount each month, a certain percent of your income, or a few dollars every time your family does something fun that costs money (add $5 to the jar every time you go out for dinner, for example). At the end of the month, sit down with your children and decide together what you will do with the money. Choose a charity to donate it to, prepare a kit for a homeless person, or use it to bless a family in need.

Most importantly, talk about how and why we give to others, and model a consistently generous, caring, and compassionate life.

How do you encourage generosity in your child(ren)?

St. Nicholas or Santa Claus?

Today is St. Nicholas Day, a day to commemorate the selfless fourth century bishop and honour his gifts of generosity and charity.

It was from this giving spirit that the legend of Santa Claus arose. Sadly, this "new and improved" version of St. Nicholas misses out on the most important aspects of the saint's character. This article on The Real "Santa Claus" describes exactly my thoughts on how we have turned "a classic tale into a shallow, sentimentalized version for mass consumption":

"Somehow, the power of modern culture turned him into something quite different. A human saint was replaced by a jolly old elf. A patron of the poor became a judge of who’s naughty and nice. A church bishop became the CEO of the world’s largest toy factory. A man who walked among his parishioners and served the people in his community became a cosmic delivery man who visits everyone everywhere on one night during the year in his magic sleigh. A saint of the church became an icon of popular culture and a vehicle for commercialism. A story rich in human experience became a modern fairy tale we trot out every year to try and put some magic in our children’s eyes during the season."

It is precisely this discrepancy that has prompted us to leave Santa Claus out of our Christmas celebrations. There are no gifts from Santa, no threats of naughty lists and nice lists, no trips to the mall to ask for presents.

Instead, we talk about St. Nicholas. We celebrated St. Nicholas Day by buying an Angel Tree gift for a child, commemorating the saint's reputation for secret gift giving and charity.

St. Nicholas can help us draw our hearts to Christ. He reminds us of the life that Jesus commanded us to live, caring for the poor and orphans, showing compassion to our neighbour, not needing recognition for our charity.

Santa Claus asks what we want, not what we can give. He asks if we've been good enough to deserve a gift, not offering it freely to all. He tells us that he's watching us, not God.

He's actually kinda creepy.

I understand the desire to make Christmas a magical time for our children. I hope that I am doing that myself, that Christmas will be a time of wonder and delight for them, full of good memories and strong traditions. I believe I can do that without Santa, without magical elves, and without the external pressure to "be good or Santa won't leave you any gifts".

But most of all, I cannot bring myself to mislead, or outright lie, to my child. I won't tell him that Santa left him a gift, because it's not true. I won't tell him the mischievous elves turned the milk green, because they didn't. I won't sit him on Santa's knee, because it's not Santa. It's a cheap representation of the richly generous life of a godly man.

I can't reconcile sitting with my child as we read our Jesse Tree devotional over breakfast in the morning, with telling him elves came to do mischief in the evening. I can't reconcile telling him about the gift of Christ coming down to save us all with leaving gifts from Santa under the Christmas tree. I can't reconcile telling him later that yes, Santa was just a pretend game we played with praying that his faith in God lasts and grows through the years.

Perhaps my hesitance is largely because the effects of Santa hit a little too close to home for me. My sister remains without faith in God to this day because when she was finally forced to accept that Santa was a lie, after holding tight to that belief through the early years of her life, she concluded that the same was true of God. It was just a story to make people be good, just a nice hope to hold on to in the face of death.

I know many wonderful Christian families who are able to include Santa Claus and even elf magic in their Christ-honouring Christmas celebrations. I know many strong Christians who have fond memories of Santa traditions and whose faith wasn't at all shaken after discovering that Santa was a game. But for us, I cannot do it. I cannot cheapen the memory of St. Nicholas. I cannot use Santa as one more external motivator for good behaviour. I cannot encourage additional materialism during a season already rife with it. I cannot lie to my child.

I cannot assume that he will understand that one story is pretend while another is the most wonderful, beautiful Truth in this world.

I cannot.

How do you approach the idea of Santa Claus in your Christmas celebrations?

Operation Christmas Child

Next week, November 16-21, is the 2009 National Collection Week for Operation Christmas Child.

I so enjoy filling these boxes each year. I wasn't sure if we would this year, finances being what they are, but my thoughtful husband encouraged me to go ahead with it. I'm so glad I did - this year has been my favourite yet.

This year, my son was able to be involved in filling our box. This morning while snuggling on my bed after our shower, I pointed out to the boy how lucky he was to have so many nice toys to play with. After he agreed, I told him there was another little boy somewhere who didn't have toys to play with. He agreed that that was very sad, so I suggested we buy some toys, put them in a box, and send them to this little boy.

This definitely appealed to my generous little boy. His generosity and thoughtfulness have long been two of my (many) favourite things about him. He loves to give. If I tell him he can have a snack, he offers one to everyone else before sitting down with his. Kisses are always offered to anyone who gets hurt. He is so appreciative as well, often exclaiming "Grandma bought this for me!" or "oh, that is so NICE!" with such gratitude. Don't get me wrong, he's two and he has his less thoughtful moments, but his overall personality is very much a generous and empathetic one, and I love to see that in him.

All morning he talked about buying toys for a little boy. Finally we made our way to the store so he could pick out what he wanted to send. I made a few additions of my own and we headed home to sort out our gifts and arrange them in the box (which is always smaller than I picture it in the store!).

This year, our box will go to a little boy in the 2-4 category. I usually try to fill my boxes for the older children, as there are annually far more boxes filled for the little ones, but this year we decided to fill for a child our son's age in order that he might relate to the child and also be better able to choose appropriate items to send. If you plan to fill a box and don't have reason to choose a younger child, I encourage you to think of what a box full of school supplies, hygiene items, and gifts would mean to an older child who may never have received a such a blessing before.

Our box is filled and ready to go. This year a little boy will receive a heartfelt gift from our son, including a pad of white paper, a pad of construction paper, crayons, stickers, lined paper, some washcloths, a truck, an elephant, a rubber ball, a hackey sack, and a few small cars. Because our boxes will be shipped to a hot country, we didn't add the usual mitts, hat, etc. I'd also like to pick up a small stuffed animal (we didn't find one today) and we will add a personal note before taking our box to church with us on Sunday.

The boy has been talking all evening about the present he's sending to the little boy. He's impatient for it to be time to go to church so he can give them his box to send away. Ideally, he wants to give it to the little boy himself, but I think we've managed to convince him that the little boy lives too far away.

It's so neat to watch this awareness of others blossom in the boy. While it has long been a part of his personality, it is only growing and developing as he gets older. I hope we can continue to encourage that in him.

And I hope a little boy somewhere out there will be truly blessed by a gift this Christmas.

The training begins

Tonight was our first night of training for the Parent Companion Program that I mentioned before. Although I had originally planned to be a birth companion, I'm looking forward now to being a parent companion instead. It was a pretty overview-ish, paperwork-y night, but interesting nonetheless.

We'll be matched with a partner in January. I'm nervous but excited. This is really a big step out of my comfort zone for me, the one who was so often labeled as "stuck-up" because I was so painfully shy. I do hope it goes well.

Am I ready for this?

Months ago, I submitted my volunteer application to Canadian Mothercraft's Birth and Parent Companion Program - more specifically, to the Birth Companion portion of the program. It was everything I was passionate about - encouraging natural childbirth, supporting breastfeeding, protecting early bonding and attachment between mother and baby, informing women of their options so they could make the best fully-informed decisions, being there for a woman during her pregnancy, labour and delivery. Could there be a more ideal volunteer opportunity out there for me?

Unfortunately a portion of the training was taking place during the weeks that my husband and I spent visiting my in-laws this spring. I was told that I would have to wait until the next training session in the fall. Disappointing, but okay, I would wait.

I was thrilled to receive a call from them last month asking me to come in for an interview in preparation for the fall training. I had the interview - best interview ever, getting to talk about all things pregnancy and birth related! - and waited to hear back.

I heard back.

They wanted me to consider being a Parent Companion instead.

Me??

I had glanced at that portion of the program. Had even planned to volunteer for it - some day. Some day when I had, you know, things like experience.

I'm so not qualified for this!

But she seemed to disagree. She thought it was great that I wanted to involve my son in this, she was thrilled that I still breastfed him, and she was certain that I was quite qualified to be a positive parenting role model to someone who had never had that in their life.

Eek.

They had too many birth companions and not enough parent companions and they felt I was a good candidate to switch, at least for the time being, and perhaps become a Birth Companion at a later time. I agreed to do it.

I'm going to be a Parent Companion.

From the position description:

A Parent Companion is a mature adult with experience in parenting/child care who has the time and desire to help a young/single parent. Our volunteers provide support to the parent, and act as a friend and confidant for the young parent as she/he adjusts and develops positive parenting and family management skills. The work of a Parent Companion is needs responsive, varying with the need of each individual family. The volunteers are sensitive, compassionate, flexible, dependable and non-judgmental. There are times during the experience of serving as a Parent Companion when great patience and understanding are required.

I admit it - I'm nervous. I only have one child, and he's only 18 months old. People don't tend to give you much credit when you're in that position. If they don't agree with your opinions, they write you off as idealistic and unexperienced. You'll change your mind when he's older...You'll regret doing that...He'll never obey if you don't spank him...You just got lucky with your kid, that's all...He must be an easy one... And so on and so forth. If he's good, it's luck. If he's bad, it's because you don't spank him. These comments can be so discouraging and stinging, but I find peace in knowing that I am raising my son in a godly, biblical way, and I know that one day the sort of man he becomes will speak for itself. In the meantime, I so enjoy seeing the fruit of our efforts in numerous little ways each day. Our son is a delight to raise.

Fortunately, part of the intent of the program is to teach parents how to discipline their children without hitting them and without screaming at them. For most of these mothers, that's all they grew up with and all they know. We're asked to come along side them and be models of positive parenting - consistent boundaries, age-appropriate expectations, and healthy discipline.

We also attend parenting courses, workshops, events and activities with the parent. We act as an advocate for the parent when appropriate. We provide nutritional guidance for infants, children, and parents. We initiate assessment with the parent of useful support agencies and resources in the community, such as drop-in programs, toy lending libraries, parent support groups, academic upgrading, clothing, shelter, food banks, subsidized child care, etc. We help the parent determine goals for the family and discuss how to take the first steps towards those goals, explore options to help the parent learn how to cope with stress in day to day life, and encourage the young parent to learn from each unique situation. We watch for signs of abuse in the parent and child, and we encourage the parent to start a peer support system.

I can do that. I want to do that. As passionate as I am about the pregnancy and birth aspect, I'm equally passionate about the years of parenting that follow delivery. It is such an incredible responsibility, this being a mother, and women need to be just as fully informed and supported in this area too.

But I'm still nervous.

And excited.

And nervous.