Friday, 5 April 2013

Weekend Reading

The sacred messiness @ Simple Mom
As you start this new week, may you choose to see that the little interruptions in your life that need nose wipes, diaper changes, homework help, or one-on-one time on the couch are not, in fact, interruptions. They are the sum of your days. These beings called to your care are your current calling, and while they’re not the only part of your calling, they’re enough to not wish away the little inconvenient tasks inherent with parenting.

And So I'll Heal @ Rosmarinus Officinalis
I struggle to find the balance with you that I never had with my own mother. That respect of who you are, that valuing of your voice, that freedom to oppose me without shame. I want to be your safe place. I want you to walk away from our conversations feeling filled and comforted...You have filled me and broken me in so many ways, and I feel God’s hand in the filling and breaking and I pray for the healing to come.

And heal I will. Because you are worth it. He is worth it. I might be able to chin up and stomp forward without truly facing the ghosts, but I’ll be damned if my anger and grief is going to come out sideways onto those I love best. And so I’ll heal for all of us.

10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling At My Kids @ The Orange Rhino
So I share with you the top 10 things that I learned from my Orange Rhino Challenge where I promised to not yell at my 4 boys for 365 days straight...

10. Not yelling feels awesome.
Now that I have stopped yelling, not only do I feel happier and calmer, I also feel lighter. I go to bed guilt-free (except for the extra cookie I ate that day, oops) and wake-up more confident that I can parent with greater understanding of my kids, my needs, and how to be more loving and patient. And I am pretty sure my kids feel happier and calmer too. I know everyone wants to read, “I stopped yelling and not only do I feel great, but also my kids are now calmer AND perfectly behaved.” Well, they aren’t. They are still kids. But, yes tantrums are shorter and some are completely avoided. Now that I am calmer, I can think more rationally to resolve potential problems before meltdown mania. But forget perfectly behaved kids for a second. My kids are most definitely more loving towards me, and now tell me quite often “I love you Orange Rhino mommy!” and that feels more than awesome, it feels phenomenal.

The Absurd Legalism of Gender Roles: Exhibit C – “As long as I can’t see her...” @ Rachel Held Evans
Piper argues that a woman can teach a man so long as her teaching is “impersonal,” “indirect,” and “removed” — essentially, so long as it is easy for him to forget she is a woman.

Regarding a woman who has written a biblical commentary, he explains: “She’s not looking at me, and directing woman. There is this interposition of this phenomenon called ‘book’ that puts her out of my sight and, in a sense, takes away the dimension of her female personhood, whereas if she were standing right in front of me and teaching me as my shepherd...I couldn’t make that separation."

As a woman, I find this profoundly dehumanizing.

No, as a human being, I find this profoundly dehumanizing.

Piper is essentially arguing that so long as he does not have to acknowledge my humanity, so long as I keep a safe distance so he is unaware of the pitch of my voice and the presence of my breasts, he can, perhaps, learn something about the Bible from me. So long as I am not “in-his-face” (his words) with my femaleness, it will be easier for him to treat me as someone worth learning from; it will be easier for him to treat me like a man.

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