Wednesday 4 September 2013

Because she needs me

She turned one whole year old during our month away, and I need to write it down, all the little things that make her the child I am so crazy in love with. Right now, though, she's holding tight to my leg, thumb in her mouth, and it's something different that I want to write down today.

My content child, my happy child, my joyful laid-back easy child, has become a clingy koala who despairs of life whenever I am too far away for her comfort. This is especially apparent when it comes time for her daily nap.

Gone are the easy days of whispering her naptime benediction in her ear as I lay her down and close the door behind me. I knew that could change any day, but somehow I didn't expect it to come after a full year. It has, oddly, made it more difficult for me to accept.

Whether it was the giant routine disruption that was our August, a shift in her developmental stage, or some other cause, I fought against it for the first few days. It was always so easy with her! Why won't she just go to sleep? I have things to do!

But nothing eases change quite the way acceptance does, and so I accepted. Book in hand, I settled down beside her, and now we share a quiet mid-day break. I read while she squirms around until sleep overtakes her. It's lovely, really, when I accept it instead of fight it as an intrusion or demand on my time.

I stayed with her brothers when they needed me, and now I will do the same for her. It may have taken longer for her to arrive at the stage where she feels my absence so keenly, but here she is, and here I am, for as long as she needs me.

Sleep well, my love. I'll see you when you wake.

Just writing along with the EO...


  1. This sounds like wisdom... "Nothing eases change quite the way acceptance does." It can be so hard to give up the fight, but I think you're right on. I imagine with parenting this is an ever-present lesson repackaged in various forms, in different seasons. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I love this's so nice to know others are doing the same thing with their babes that I am. (although I usually fall asleep after he does...despite wanting to read!)

  3. Thank you for this, I so appreciate posts like this, encouragement on my parenting journey, reminders that children grow so quick. I will never regret the hours spent lying with and nursing my son when he is older and no longer needs me although at times its the last thing I feel like doing! The projects he pulls me away from for "noo noo" will be long forgotten when he is older and I am not the most important person in his world anymore, but our precious time together will not.